tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38518762915867974652024-03-18T00:14:15.441-07:00(life is too short not to) wear red shoeschristian photographer lifestyle wedding portrait photography jesusSusannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.comBlogger328125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-84113198877250402992015-05-07T06:00:00.000-07:002015-05-13T00:36:15.292-07:00ten things I've learned about my own marriage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We're still babies. Little tiny babies who are still learning & relearning everything constantly, but God has already taught us more than I imagined through this really big deal. This is what I have learned about my very-own marriage. (Sounds much more grown up than it is in reality, I promise).<br />
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1. Marriage is magic.</b></div>
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I really never felt inseparable/head-over-heels before we got married (which caused some freaking out...), but getting married instantly created a bond which I never bargained on. Being completely vulnerable with and committed to someone is a crazy, crazy thing. Coming in the door from whatever stressful not-at-home thing that occurred, getting beneath about seven puffy white comforters to cuddle and talk/fall asleep is, bar none, one of the greatest earthly joys imaginable. I never, ever, ever imagined how incredible being married to my favorite person could be. But not in the dancing-the-tango way--there is a sturdy amount of watching the Food Network on Netflix, eating pizza four days in a row, and laughing fits regarding bodily functions. And you know? It's a hundred times more romantic than any of that sappy stuff. </div>
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2. Being best friends is ridiculously fun. </b><br />
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We're especially lucky because we enjoy doing almost all of the same things. Some things to greater/lesser degrees, but we definitely scored in the "shared interests" category (for example: photography, lol. see also: <i>Parks &</i><i> Recreation</i>). I didn't anticipate being so excited about just hanging out with the same person as much as humanly possible, day after day. I honestly figured I'd get pretty sick of whoever I married. Peter and I pretty much do <i>everything </i>together. Working, playing, socializing, shopping, fighting, and we still are really big fans of each other. It's weird.</div>
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3. Laughing is vital.</b></div>
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You know what's better than bursting into tears because I completely ruined the soup I'd been slaving over? Laughing really hard and then making out. Peter has the gift of not taking himself too seriously. And bringing some humorous perspective to silly arguments/freezers that won't %@$# close.</div>
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4. Playing cards is the bomb.</b></div>
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It's our secret power. Peter, like a lot of men, likes to bond over <i>doing </i>something instead of always just sitting and talking. I, <strike>like a lot of</strike> all? women, bond over talking. Cards is a win-win, because we're doing something <i>and </i>we can talk easily. Unless it spirals into a competitive tantrum from <strike>one of us</strike> me. Canasta is also great practice for anger management.</div>
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4. He's different than me. </b></div>
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Also different than he was yesterday, or will be tomorrow, or will be after he's had a snack. As I get to know him more and more, I find out more ways that he's just designed differently, and how he communicates/processes/hears/learns might be different in a way that I don't understand because (duh), I'm not that way. It's scary how much I assume people think the same way I do, and how often I should just shut up and actually <i>hear </i>someone explain how they feel/think about something, instead of being bossy, judgmental, and controlling. Also, newsflash: men & women <i>are </i>astonishingly different in a million ways, but not always in the ways you'd expect. And my particular husband isn't like anybody else's husband, and my job is to learn him & love him, instead of saying "wait a second! the books I read said you were supposed to respond THIS way!"<br />
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5. God puts two different people on the same team for good old sanctification and for getting stuff DONE. </b> </div>
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Pretty much every time Peter excitedly suggests something that sounds a bit iffy to me (examples: putting a huge mirror in front of the kitchen sink, spontaneous sleep-in-the-car-parked-down-an-unmarked-road camping trip), and I decide to try and see where it goes, it's basically the best-ever. The mirror in our kitchen literally makes <i>rainbows </i>all over the place at the right time of day. I mean, how explicit can you get?? I tend to get excited about things, but quickly get cynical/lazy, whereas not only does Peter have a literally endless supply of seemingly far-fetched dreams and ideas, he has the guts to back it up with hard work. There are so many ways our differences make us so much more useful. Proofreading, brainstorming, good cop/bad cop in our business, etc.</div>
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6. Marriage changes who you are.</b></div>
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We're on a team now--we're kind of one person (crazy). I got married to someone I'd technically known my whole life, moved only an hour away--but I went from being in one family to starting a brand new one, from being single to being a wife, from living in the country to living in town, switched churches, moved away from my family's business and got two new jobs, had my own home to take care of for the first time ever, and just had a complete restructure of every single part of my daily life. It kind of threw me for a loop--a happy loop, but a kind of confusing one. I absolutely loved every new thing, but it gets confusing identity-wise. Of course, my fundamental identity isn't in my roles, location, or work anyway--it's in Jesus. So thankful for a husband who reminds me of that and who kicks me out the door to do the things that restore order and clarity to my soul (reading, writing in moleskines, typing useless, yet therapeutic things on my laptop, etc).<br />
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7. Marriage doesn't fix who you were.</b></div>
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Not even a little bit. I can't count how many times since we've been married I've been knee-deep in some kind of sin (pettiness, irresponsibility, laziness, pride...) and slowly realized "dagnabit--this is something God has been working on for years". And something that it would have been handy to get better at before inflicting myself so fully on another human being. I firmly believe that you don't wait until you have it all together to get married (hello, you'd never get married), but also that marriage will not magically erase your sin. Problems are problems, and they might come out in different ways, or the same ways, but they'll definitely still come out. (p.s. mama you were right about a lot of things.)</div>
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8. Eating food will solve all manner of ills.</b><b><br /></b></div>
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For real. I don't think we have a single quarrel on record that has not been influenced by a lack of food. I have a habit (instead of maturely making a healthy breakfast) of wandering around lashing out and feeling like the world is coming to an end, until eventually I realize I should probably eat something. Which leads to an alarmingly quick restoration, body and soul. Pro-tip: healthy smoothies are the best for this problem. They are MY LIFE right now. And if you know me in real life, I have probably shouted that to you at least a couple times.<br />
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9. Marriage is distracting.</b></div>
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I'd always been a little snobby about the part in the Bible that basically talks about how a married woman is more distracted, but it's true! I've been pretty appalled by how easily I idolize Peter, and not in a "you're so perfect" kind of way, but just in a "you are MY LIFE" kind of way. It's terrifyingly easy to pretty much make him the functional idol/priority of my life, and to let other things slip. And, of course, if I'm expecting him to give me all the love, security, and joy I need, we're going to end up with a royal mess. I turn into a nasty vacuum-sucky-needy girl, with a slew of ridiculous expectations. I feel like marriage has made a lot of "temporal" things simply so delightful, that it's easier to be very content in them. When circumstances surrounding us have been the hardest (for example, Peter's tangle with gout, parasites, and being laid up in bed for over a month with increasing and terrifying ailments), it's redirected me from depending too much on him, a comfortable life, etc, and pointed me toward the only One who is worthy of worship.</div>
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<b>10. I'm a selfish brat, and holy cow, he's a good man.</b><br />
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I get pouty and standoffish, he's honest and works through things. I cross my arms and shrink, he squeezes me and kisses me. I get mired in self-pitying anger, and he is gentle and loving until I feel okay again. I run away, he chases me. I clam up, he talks it out. I get lazy and fitful, and he invariably buckles down and works his butt off. 99.9% of our "fights" are me being a brat and him calmly and rationally working through it. If my bodily reaction against just admitting "I was wrong, I'm sorry" isn't a clear indicator of how incapable I am of doing anything "good" on my own, I don't know what is. Marriage has been the clearest tangible picture of God's unconditional love for me, as he blesses me continuously through an impossibly amazing man who doesn't treat me a bit like I deserve. I am indescribably thankful for his unwavering faithfulness through every stage of life, including this one.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(all photos by the incredible <a href="http://one-beloved.blogspot.com/">Lucia </a>from our first-anniversary photo shoot, which was an embarrassingly long time ago).</span></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-9062246254986391332014-11-05T00:18:00.000-08:002016-12-03T22:06:57.197-08:00on being married one year.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We honeymooned at the beach (where else??), ate Lucky Charms for about two weeks straight (not to mention our leftover rainbow cake), and then got to do real life together, from the exciting Monday morning planning meetings to the half-asleep-scrambled-egg-making 3 o'clock mornings. We went crabbing with some of our favorite people (disastrous in the financial department, but wonderful in the boating around in the sunshine department) and spent most of the stunning autumn doing senior photo shoots and drinking Angry Orchard cider and watching Suits.</div>
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I cut my hair really short (the shortest it's ever been), and we went to the desert for a wedding (stayed in a trailer, watched movies, ate biscuits and gravy in the morning), and Denver, and northern Washington, and we watched a lot of tv shows and laughed really hard about absolutely nothing. We did a huge project on marriage (and learned how to work together, for better or worse), and we got up obscenely early most of the time for awhile, until he through his nasty work shirt into the fire and we launched on official, bonifide self-employment. When people ask what we do for work, we get to say we're <i>wedding photographers</i>, and that is such a magical thing to be able to say. </div>
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We got really excited about good deal on a vacuum (he's a wizard), and we ate a lot of crusty bread and olive oil and baby pickles (so. many. baby. pickles.) We agonized over paint colors for months and finally painted our bedroom white (best decision ever). (Painting isn't always as romantic and dreamy as certain movies would have you believe just FYI. At least not until you both have a snack). </div>
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We went to the beach with his cousin/friend and his wife and played bitter rounds of Monopoly and watched cartoons and ate amazing breakfasts. Went to the beach again with my whole family and reveled in/were overwhelmed by the sheer number of adorable nieces & nephews. </div>
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We visited one of his brother's family in Coeur D'Alene, where we got obsessed with Tetris, couldn't wait to have our own baseball-playing boys, bought a new wedding ring for me (I lost the original one within the first few months--mostly a sentimental loss, since it was from a pawn shop--NOT the engagement ring), and saw an incredible number of old pickups and ate some of the best donuts ever.</div>
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We made a lot of plans and then canceled them all because we'd rather just hang out and watch movies and makeout and eat pizza. I never thought I would have this much fun hanging out with the same person day after day. </div>
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We got snowed in for a few too-good-to-be-true days, and walked everywhere in the eery, beautiful, muted neighborhood (I got to wear my Christmas boots), ate an enormous amount of pancakes and bacon with some of the best people, all packed into our tiny tiny place, and sledded and made snow angels and snow ice cream and sat and watched the snow come down and make the trees movie-worthy. </div>
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We went to our coffee shop (Singer Hill) way too often, to get mad (good-naturedly, usually) while playing cards, and sometimes he bought me a pastry, but usually we just got a decaf with refills, because we're poor newlyweds, after all. But I felt like we must be really rich because we could afford to get Redbox every once in awhile and go out to eat and even bought orange juice sometimes.</div>
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We haunted our Oregon City, poking around in musty antique shops or eating cupcakes/cinnamon rolls/cajun tots. Sometimes we went to the pet store to get emotional about the kittens and the puppies (okay, that's mostly just me), and toy with the idea of being responsible (and rich) enough to buy a fish. </div>
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He brought me home red roses (usually just one, which is my favorite), and donuts and sundry food after his rabid grocery trips.</div>
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My yellowish kitchen was infiltrated with my red things all over the place. It made me happier than I ever thought I could get over my kitchen. I love my cookie jar and my rainbow mugs and my majestic shiny red kitchenaid and the sunshine when it pours in during the afternoon. And now I understand things like the relief and giddiness that comes with eating a meal that I didn't have to strategize and execute, having freezer meals, or getting a good deal on black beans.</div>
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We watched a lot of Looney Tunes while eating waffles. If we were lucky, we got to drink coffee together in the morning, which was the fondest craving of my soul before we got married. </div>
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We locked ourselves out of our house, and climbed through the window, there was a beehive scare in our sketchy studio. </div>
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We ate pie at Shari's (late at night, after shooting weddings), and an enormous amount of Starbucks breakfast sandwiches. Also, emergency-there-is-no-plans-for-dinner chorizo burritos from Super Torta. (Those things will wreck you). We went to Portland sometimes for fancy dinners, but mostly frequented the not-great restaurants in Oregon City. Some of the best date nights were the at-home ones with fondue or pasta and Fred Meyer desserts. </div>
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We had a magical been-married-six-months celebration with mac and cheese, and too-soon picnics on the promenade, with rotisserie chicken and cheese and reading out loud.<br />
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We went to the beach with my whole family and held a lot of babies and wore a lot of top hats and explored our "grassy knoll". We flew to Cape Cod, Massachusetts to visit two more of his brothers and their families. Lived there for a few weeks and had raging head colds and played with two of the cutest children that were ever created. Lots of night Wii battles and cold cereal binging and bitter boys vs. girls Spades games. Experienced his family tradition of the Easter pinata.</div>
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Took a bus to New York City and ran around holding hands and eating too much amazing food. Hung out with some amazing people. </div>
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I flew to Denver all alone to shoot a bridal shower, and missed him outrageously and he picked me up from the airport wearing his marvelous blue shirt. </div>
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We watched a lot of movies with me laying in his lap (all three Lord of the Rings, epic long Chinese movie, etc), and stayed up much later than reasonable just laughing about nothing. </div>
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He held me when I cried, every single time, and prayed with me when I was a wreck because of people I was hurting for or worried about or not trusting God with.</div>
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We had several different favorite people come over to talk about deep stuff and watch stupid movies and stay nights on our futon.<br />
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We ate a lot of chocolate muffins, juanita tortilla chips + fresh salsa, Totino's pizza (so cheap, so terrible, so good), turkey bacon (eventually got sick of it), bratwurst (not sick of it), english muffins, poached eggs, grocery store sushi, and homemade burritos.</div>
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We drove to Canada with Bethany and stayed with one of the greatest families ever and drove through stunning green countryside listening to 80's music (saw a bald eagle, (WHY WAS IT IN CANDA INSTEAD OF AMERICA? traitor), lots of roadkill, and a naked man. Ate baguette in a field.</div>
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We went to Denver for another wedding, stayed with our basically-family people and bought a front-porch picnic with Mexican hot chocolate pudding and watched the crazy Colorado weather. Took a ton of pictures we accidentally deleted later. Drove away from a tornado-y thunderstorm, ate donuts.<br />
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We watched movies in the theater--lame, perfect, and unexpectedly tragic cathartic animated movies (How to Train Your Dragon 2 you are merciless). </div>
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Went to family camp and had fires on the beach, deep hot tub conversations with friends, and a lot of s'mores. Explored scary rocky beach places. Came home and got the horrific flu plague simultaneously and letsjustsay sometimes it's difficult having a one-bathroom home. Had bonding times watching movies and trying valiantly to eat soup.<br />
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Tackled our few weddingless weeks of summer with a vengeance--campings trips, hiking to waterfalls, floating down the river at the slightest provocation with a slew of really awesome married people we love. He went on man-camping trips and I occasionally burst into tears the moment he left (hashtag codependent), watched Romeo and Juliet and bawled, stayed up til 2am blogging aaaand also weeping.<br />
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Got some vicious sunburns/tans, went to the amusement park and stayed on the ferris wheel for six rounds, had a harrowing rafting trip ended with burger-eating frenzy. Caught and ate (ish) crawdads and kind of liked them. Spent afternoons sharing our porch hammock dangerously and reading and snuggling each other within an inch of our lives.</div>
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He gave me a crazy-amazing 21st birthday--top secret folders, two days in Portland in a hotel, and eating at all of the amazing places I could imagine. (He even bought me a red dress ♥). We got to stay in two different resorts in one weekend for two amazing weddings--got addicted to cooking shows and ate powdered donuts in bed. </div>
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We made it through almost all of the exciting, amazing brutality of Wedding Season, with all the learning curves of crazy work-load/working well together/still having time for each other. We repeatedly got reminded of our own wedding and why we married each other and holycow how <i>emotional </i>and beautiful weddings are.</div>
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And then we celebrated our anniversary in the most attractive way at the moment--staying home and watching movies and looking through every single one of our wedding photos, and eating gross food and good long islands at a nearby un-tested restaurant.</div>
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This year has been fuller and more perfect than I ever imagined. God gave us a ridiculous amount of blessings, and a completely unanticipated number of adventures together. Marriage is so, so much easier--and just more plain magical than I expected. Basically it's a lot of laughing and tickling and smooshy-face-hugs, with some crying and hugging it out and pre-dinner crises mixed in. I can't count the number of times I've looked at his beautiful all-mine face and just been floored by the fact that I have this--all <i>this. </i>There's nothing quite like a person that's half of you--that's <i>home </i>to you. Holding each other and laughing uncontrollably together is maybe the best thing Jesus has ever given me. This first year has been an unimaginable blessing.<br />
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But at the same time, it's been probably the most full of seeing the hurt and brokenness in the world. Horrible news stories and gut-wrenching phone calls and tragedies in lives around us that seem impossible to know how to process. It makes me cling even tighter to this amazing best-friend-for-life--he reminds me of truth and God's goodness when I can't see it. I could never have imagined the amount of happiness I'd have right now--but I also could never have imagined the amount of serious-for-real-yuckiness in the world around me. Often simultaneously with this absurdly undeserved happiness, has been some of the hardest struggles I've had with trust in God and belief in His goodness, as brokenness and darkness hurts people around me.<br />
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It's even more difficult, I've found, for me to trust God when I feel like He's not fixing things and healing things and protecting the people I love to the death. But despite my arrogance in not trusting him, and not believing in His sovereignty and goodness, he has been so, so gentle with me. And my husband has been a reminder of that, because his patient and persistent and gentle love doesn't waver, even when I try to run away or don't believe him or am so eyeballs-deep in my sin that I can't see truth.<br />
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<i style="font-size: small; text-align: center;"> </i><i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> first and last photo from one-year-anniversary photo shoot with the beautiful <a href="http://one-beloved.blogspot.com/">Lucia.</a></span></i><br />
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This year has been incredible, once-in-a-lifetime--a first-year-of-marriage to hold tight to when things are harder and more complicated. Easy in all the ways I didn't expect and impossible in all the ways I never imagined. God is teaching me so much about questions that we don't get the answers to right when we want them (or even until we see his face), about struggling through fear and helplessness. about bring-you-to-your-knees blessings and beauty.<br />
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Praise God from whom all blessings flow.</div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-47550964234326022662014-08-28T23:50:00.000-07:002014-08-28T23:50:31.169-07:00so we're wedding photographers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As you may recall, I married a for-real wedding photographer, thus fulfilling my fondest wish/most unrealistic dream of getting to be a husband + wife wedding photographer team. The very first wedding we shot together was before we really knew each other ("strictly professional") (hah!), the second one was a friend's wedding and he asked me to dance at the end of the night, and since then, we've shot at least 21 more weddings together.</div>
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And now it's been almost an entire year since <i>our </i>wedding and we've gone from winter projects and engagement and senior shoots to the slowly-starting wedding season in the spring (with plenty of time for <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/05/that-time-we-ran-around-nyc-together.html">vacations</a>!) to the full-blown, hardly-a-moment-for-anything-else summer season. August has been CRAZY. As well as record-hot for mild old Oregon. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we're obsessed with central oregon weddings, like this incredible desert wedding last November. freezing cold, bonfire, floating lanterns, <i>and </i>trailers for all of the guests (and us!) to stay in. the best.</span><br />
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We're wedding nerds. We really are. We know way too much about every intricacy of a wedding day, and have an alarming amount of conversations about our favorite kind of bridal gown, bouquet, vows, and hairstyles.<br />
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It's such a crazy thing to be able to be a part of a couples' best-day-ever, and get a window into their always-unique relationship, families, and friends. We always get too attached (Peter in a less weeping-during-the-ceremony kind of way).<br />
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We're getting better and better at working together--something which is not <i>always </i>a piece of cake, especially with how high-stress weddings can be. Thankfully, I married someone who deals with stress like a boss. So that helps. Things like differing work ethics (his is exceptional... mine is howshallisay--weak), figuring out who does what for post-processing, publishing, etc.<br />
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We're in more and more of a groove, and I love having more and more of a system. I'll help cull and reply to emails, do all hand-writing related activities :), write for the blog, do most of the facebook stuff, and the increasing list of little post-wedding things we have to do. By the way: linkage. <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">Our site, Peter Mahar Photography</a> and our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Peter-Mahar/104077582984840">facebook page</a>!<br />
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Some favorites from the most of the weddings we've shot since getting married:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">denver, colorado in january. this family is the best. we shot their second daughter's wedding in June, and are shooting their third daughter's next month!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">eastern washington. roadtrip adventure + amazing people + crazy weather.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">vancouver, BC. I had no idea that Canada was so stunning. sheesh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">denver again! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we'd always wanted to shoot this guy's wedding. (a friend of Peter's, who incidentally teased him about me from the very beginning.) :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">our friend-since-forever married a girl from pennsylvania short notice on a tuesday because he's a pilot and their original wedding date wasn't going to work anymore. it ended up being incredible aaand also the hardest week ever possibly because we did three weddings in five days. </span></div>
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(<span style="font-size: x-small;">it's always a plus to get to shoot a wedding that your CUTER THAN ANYTHING nephew is at.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuBmPVjJbmlymqq1hnABQkYxB8Xxdut4BgrcbT4nt-DNyv5VIxQRxz9H-jpP2x6itZGnQWgs9ZiakQtiVMzryFlCkXaIDxTVCFIWdmifCpIyjeJyUAzExK2SpbjiDclPa-rKzbGd7JRu4/s1600/2014-07-24_0050.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyuBmPVjJbmlymqq1hnABQkYxB8Xxdut4BgrcbT4nt-DNyv5VIxQRxz9H-jpP2x6itZGnQWgs9ZiakQtiVMzryFlCkXaIDxTVCFIWdmifCpIyjeJyUAzExK2SpbjiDclPa-rKzbGd7JRu4/s1600/2014-07-24_0050.jpg" height="474" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">a rare actually <i>portland </i>wedding for old friends. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6gxusY_qSyUEbrD_7Q-R63ch49lIzZ6WC6tDhhnzZPZF4MhxcaS-ehX4ms0qorjQYZfh7jdVejgXJS1o2wEBmGIH7w-s6OnPEB49QO_DU4njzrSheVHqR2lWMZ53wFz5qCoDOoIuaZUYn/s1600/2014-07-24_0096.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6gxusY_qSyUEbrD_7Q-R63ch49lIzZ6WC6tDhhnzZPZF4MhxcaS-ehX4ms0qorjQYZfh7jdVejgXJS1o2wEBmGIH7w-s6OnPEB49QO_DU4njzrSheVHqR2lWMZ53wFz5qCoDOoIuaZUYn/s1600/2014-07-24_0096.jpg" height="390" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">quirky venue that made us all nostalgic for our wedding!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ27UTclZ9KpXaF1-R3ZFHxu2ae39Pwa-_9KYHeEAa45ekeDLUga8W4rUdmU4hR5qEP_hdCwCSRd3yxSOJSqup-Z8n3HKfQumo7Sfa3Cfr88ZfMiV9uLEc42tz60DI8uXACVmmohbzxGts/s1600/10524327_749397581786167_581300731651578414_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ27UTclZ9KpXaF1-R3ZFHxu2ae39Pwa-_9KYHeEAa45ekeDLUga8W4rUdmU4hR5qEP_hdCwCSRd3yxSOJSqup-Z8n3HKfQumo7Sfa3Cfr88ZfMiV9uLEc42tz60DI8uXACVmmohbzxGts/s1600/10524327_749397581786167_581300731651578414_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdJy_xrPCF43LKHLXs8fCDaLfAtCVpGCXj8B2odHcMrbs4MJ4jNwxEIE0NxC9loCLVav596b6dS-K4M7_AO1ttMRz1YolLHtdMlCluLbqcQRZ5l6MzLdglSpcg46xcZGMroh_VNfT90hbm/s1600/1972257_749398685119390_8649397391361621099_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdJy_xrPCF43LKHLXs8fCDaLfAtCVpGCXj8B2odHcMrbs4MJ4jNwxEIE0NxC9loCLVav596b6dS-K4M7_AO1ttMRz1YolLHtdMlCluLbqcQRZ5l6MzLdglSpcg46xcZGMroh_VNfT90hbm/s1600/1972257_749398685119390_8649397391361621099_n.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">...also with a photo booth. contrary to facebook rumors, this is a <i>wig </i>I'm wearing. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQoqMyRr_Jer-uwJ4hws8ze2LEW70fFlGRpnlMVfhOBILRT2Mq2vUDDi0oKdVw5vj4-uaoJchgUtM6PNRGdwkku-z-MBHTVqb9VKvhXdqL1eRFo63PXaZRKzwwsXUExmniWNb_e8YcWhXx/s1600/1620448_751693314889927_4078066157203252971_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQoqMyRr_Jer-uwJ4hws8ze2LEW70fFlGRpnlMVfhOBILRT2Mq2vUDDi0oKdVw5vj4-uaoJchgUtM6PNRGdwkku-z-MBHTVqb9VKvhXdqL1eRFo63PXaZRKzwwsXUExmniWNb_e8YcWhXx/s1600/1620448_751693314889927_4078066157203252971_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">bend, oregon. one of the most emotional + breathtaking weddings I've ever seen. bride & groom completely in love and never able to stop crying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">two friends we both grew up with--the kind of friends you match-make from infancy but never to each other and then all of a sudden <i>bam--</i>they get together and <i>of course </i>they're perfect for each other. (she can handle his bizarre and hilarious behavior).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(all three of my brothers were groomsmen which was the coolest.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">sunriver, oregon. got to stay at the resort and stay up late watching cooking shows in bed. ♥</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">sisters, oregon. fell in love with the utterly adorable couple and we got to stay in the most incredible room we've ever seen. (guys, water for the giant tub <i>came from the ceiling.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">hood river, oregon. she's an olympic skier and the mountain view was stunning. came home sunburnt with a beer-soaked shoe. a grand time was had by all.</span></div>
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I can't even describe what an outrageous blessing it is to get to work alongside my main squeeze. Top seven reasons it's the bomb:<br />
1. we're married, we get to photograph people getting married. it's bonding and reminding and emotional.<br />
2. he's my favorite photographer and I get to learn his ways.<br />
3. we get to hang out like, a lot. we both have time off at the same time, we both work at the same time, we both get to work at home in our pajamas at the same time, we both distract each other from actually working...<br />
4. I understand what he does for a living (unlike an engineer or a mathematician or something). we can relate about things, not to mention all the shared experiences of the goodbadandtheugly of wedding days. and we get to brainstorm together.<br />
5. he's the hardest dang worker I've ever seen, and I get lots of character building from becoming more like him. he wins at all the really hard, businessy, numbery, rubber-meets-the-road parts of the business. a wedding day is stressful and exhausting (especially when it's a 12 hour + day of shooting), and I couldn't do it without someone as hard-working and magical as him. plus he knows that foot rubs are more valuable after coming home from a wedding than being handed a million dollars.<br />
6. it's exciting. you never know when you might completely bomb, <i>or </i>when you might the most amazing inquiry or review or booked wedding that sends you over the moon.<br />
7. he's super sexy in a vest & tie.<br />
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It's our first-ever summer being married, and we weren't sure we'd have time to actually <i>do </i>summer, since it's brim-full of shooting weddings. But we ended up with a perfect break in between the craziness. Long enough to camping two weekends in a row (and for Peter to go on Big Man Camping Trips on the next two). </div>
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I'd never been <i>real </i>camping before, and wasn't sure how I'd feel about it. I've always hoped I'd be the kind of person who liked it, but you just never know. It was hardly hardcore (some kind of bathroom was available at both places, and <strike>too many</strike> plenty of people were around). But I'm definitely a believer. Steak, trout, (Costco muffins...) and sausages are just knock-your-socks-off (which I incidentally forgot to bring actually because I'm a camping noob) the best over a fire.</div>
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Traveling and exploring have always been fierce loves of mine, but now that we're married, it's even <i>more </i>of my favorite thing. I just want to hold his hand and go to all the new places we possibly can. He's the best one for adventures--brave, curious, kid-at-heart, creative best friend to run around with. He gets me to stop being lame and lazy and gets us out the door. He's the best to play cards with, wherever we go. He's the best for snuggling with when it's too cold (and when it's too hot. c'mon--the snuggling will not be stopped). He is basically a fish and therefore is the best person to teach me to swim (I'm a failure, I know)--complete with ice cream cone bribes. </div>
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<i>wahclella falls</i><br />
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<i>also his black tank tops make me swoon.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgop9GCE5m7Y7NDqGzr3UIvT8h0TN2beZERfK4hgGz-JD42u8nem4fjiS2SXDnFZHZUPrpETQaTWMgnx70haTeA5bSaTShynSpC6pNoAwmMq7hd6s7Ston8WKuqYI3Xpz5bpeGFfBlhLix3/s1600/photo+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgop9GCE5m7Y7NDqGzr3UIvT8h0TN2beZERfK4hgGz-JD42u8nem4fjiS2SXDnFZHZUPrpETQaTWMgnx70haTeA5bSaTShynSpC6pNoAwmMq7hd6s7Ston8WKuqYI3Xpz5bpeGFfBlhLix3/s1600/photo+4.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>( a few of the things we've been up to lately. all photos taken on my iphone </i></div>
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<i>cuz sometimes a for-real camera's too big)</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4h0B0FrYOyZV1dFkd4NblWI9kiAosODiUBdf-9K8tyhqktFylkjuiREtP9l74C_LcJfXytQV9jNDR6mnVMuTOCDZaMKfk7jLq-PTCZjYzYaY3K0u0uZPrMCYC9DDuCe-HOGA-y68XEzs/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt4h0B0FrYOyZV1dFkd4NblWI9kiAosODiUBdf-9K8tyhqktFylkjuiREtP9l74C_LcJfXytQV9jNDR6mnVMuTOCDZaMKfk7jLq-PTCZjYzYaY3K0u0uZPrMCYC9DDuCe-HOGA-y68XEzs/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>central oregon camping trip with Ben & Rebekah</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig59L6QXSrEeMBbmptnG5lLuL8Lmb8-vOoh9YuY-xd-FZiBdqYxvVyKFFvFTsORkyt5KXM_tYSorHnuj1WezsY79Ir95LCiPFmOatyoQBTds5zb-uJyak-2b6Tm1U-JsX1blEEfzC4nYQv/s1600/photo+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig59L6QXSrEeMBbmptnG5lLuL8Lmb8-vOoh9YuY-xd-FZiBdqYxvVyKFFvFTsORkyt5KXM_tYSorHnuj1WezsY79Ir95LCiPFmOatyoQBTds5zb-uJyak-2b6Tm1U-JsX1blEEfzC4nYQv/s1600/photo+4.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQL5R3CFI5_ornd4f1tzkNSyUag-Q_vzkbn9McvGnB0R2B0jz__70UnWkeNUb6reCD_x1hrv0JQRETMnQQ6J6Fd8YcVEC4Pzc7f_zlqtcVRvEG4ES5HyWwbG6WSnrzJb6FfbxP369C2PH/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQL5R3CFI5_ornd4f1tzkNSyUag-Q_vzkbn9McvGnB0R2B0jz__70UnWkeNUb6reCD_x1hrv0JQRETMnQQ6J6Fd8YcVEC4Pzc7f_zlqtcVRvEG4ES5HyWwbG6WSnrzJb6FfbxP369C2PH/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<i>running around barefoot taking photos excitedly.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV3vR9k46-MsdBdZomOSQlPh-syTY4C-q7zWPjDuZ8EtescxJATc9Xpsk0LSaYbezTwxVxrqWX2ZyFGfQ8Hio6_HR7x_Bt9uk4FWeSZj9slI3ceDE7liBmXAFl3dOwLuFFOsS0hAS2rkCA/s1600/photo+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV3vR9k46-MsdBdZomOSQlPh-syTY4C-q7zWPjDuZ8EtescxJATc9Xpsk0LSaYbezTwxVxrqWX2ZyFGfQ8Hio6_HR7x_Bt9uk4FWeSZj9slI3ceDE7liBmXAFl3dOwLuFFOsS0hAS2rkCA/s1600/photo+5.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg42PQkmbQzvyHqQb_xPHmFqVGBprJuUqyYX-hx61AXStd8c5uAf29ohvH6WLj5mr9XRn7CO8smD7zXV3JpcbQemlbkL2Ay4G-_khTXmvz9z55mlA8zRNK7Wkj6ue3XZ2dQQ4smIObcwkSw/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg42PQkmbQzvyHqQb_xPHmFqVGBprJuUqyYX-hx61AXStd8c5uAf29ohvH6WLj5mr9XRn7CO8smD7zXV3JpcbQemlbkL2Ay4G-_khTXmvz9z55mlA8zRNK7Wkj6ue3XZ2dQQ4smIObcwkSw/s1600/photo+3.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>then they drove away and left me. (they came back).</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLjfoyJQuo8Hm3hRKKh9cziUsYPc0fcjnjCHqBle1EcakQyKCfsWLPJaq35C1y6uCkN9Uo8Q8enXNjx5Soq2xLc8CZuQrcB-V1E-MkbmsEs_TldcxVZvW2l2oaqijhGYBlxBlLt0mz70e/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLjfoyJQuo8Hm3hRKKh9cziUsYPc0fcjnjCHqBle1EcakQyKCfsWLPJaq35C1y6uCkN9Uo8Q8enXNjx5Soq2xLc8CZuQrcB-V1E-MkbmsEs_TldcxVZvW2l2oaqijhGYBlxBlLt0mz70e/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>gluten-free + dairy-free pancakes (Ben and Rebekah are healthy) </i></div>
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<i>and croissant-bacon-steak-egg-sausage sandwiches (we are not).</i></div>
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<i>smith rock</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuPTrIiNiBI0uwSpQIyz8vFSzVCxqOdlBLV2geq1d5q1VCp-PcdTI3RSJhGFWXTZfthClF0Uy-XU5E0pUfGH7VKM_B3FfkW8fitTKFtFsSRqvnXqXXvXywBgqSAdNNE2sCxZyd7eB_xeSY/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuPTrIiNiBI0uwSpQIyz8vFSzVCxqOdlBLV2geq1d5q1VCp-PcdTI3RSJhGFWXTZfthClF0Uy-XU5E0pUfGH7VKM_B3FfkW8fitTKFtFsSRqvnXqXXvXywBgqSAdNNE2sCxZyd7eB_xeSY/s1600/photo+3.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<i>the far side of cape kiwanda. scariness and amazingness galore.</i><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitlfBb_701wHvxlW6Zp9dSI0eBjbPInEJTa5WRqpTYxKJjgPnLWJX7zlx4WJRzrTDOpcrA1bD3bcC9nZr1esQZxapuMVBRshFDVrEnJ2rfWMJ08VD9iy4XzWOi7G7D3y4TsiE_lQ8wRs8f/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitlfBb_701wHvxlW6Zp9dSI0eBjbPInEJTa5WRqpTYxKJjgPnLWJX7zlx4WJRzrTDOpcrA1bD3bcC9nZr1esQZxapuMVBRshFDVrEnJ2rfWMJ08VD9iy4XzWOi7G7D3y4TsiE_lQ8wRs8f/s1600/photo+3.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7YmXHFNsKC9EH966Wae5uD_UoZ5r1lJMF3V5euMDIYm1vANw6JjmiF02JOe6Wg6JyDUPCRAEase7pPwtO2lVN2GI-yFO7eXnJkYeZYdCPjtPVFINBsU2qOGdv1gDqQIrnqWN6jJJvmFIy/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7YmXHFNsKC9EH966Wae5uD_UoZ5r1lJMF3V5euMDIYm1vANw6JjmiF02JOe6Wg6JyDUPCRAEase7pPwtO2lVN2GI-yFO7eXnJkYeZYdCPjtPVFINBsU2qOGdv1gDqQIrnqWN6jJJvmFIy/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>driving home from canada</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiJbGUnRgxUrX4ebnid1aG3d1U1Ly2pIAoaCOHVXWhYEzp6dxaGjk401fRgOlcyezN0THlcHSmQcNAvFK8bzGmZpaLalTAdnFvgONG6XdjFAUqHopPsAFVgU5HG6zKZh7CFztn5QOwxKMl/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiJbGUnRgxUrX4ebnid1aG3d1U1Ly2pIAoaCOHVXWhYEzp6dxaGjk401fRgOlcyezN0THlcHSmQcNAvFK8bzGmZpaLalTAdnFvgONG6XdjFAUqHopPsAFVgU5HG6zKZh7CFztn5QOwxKMl/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>exploring sketchy unofficial area at clear lake</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfJrdwqK8wmj76eQvR1gdVI3HBnn7VwTafvRDWmOLGxpBQr3FSZuSmhxZiKsmaMGz6AizNd2eTUyYdv2cog_qRRG7A7YTwWSPn_uxDCqv7Lq4U03NthZz7njWCtP-kijwrPeLPKvu081bI/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfJrdwqK8wmj76eQvR1gdVI3HBnn7VwTafvRDWmOLGxpBQr3FSZuSmhxZiKsmaMGz6AizNd2eTUyYdv2cog_qRRG7A7YTwWSPn_uxDCqv7Lq4U03NthZz7njWCtP-kijwrPeLPKvu081bI/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>camping at timothy lake with Josiah and Grace</i></div>
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<i>steak + pepper kebabs over the fire. one of the greatest things in life.</i></div>
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<i>red rocks, colorado</i></div>
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<i>on the warpath of a donut shop, with a tornado emergency warning on the radio </i></div>
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<i>and thunderstorm/brewing tornado in the rearview mirror.</i></div>
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So weak-in-the-knees thankful for this man and this life and a loving God who finds time to make dreams come true. </div>
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In April, our family had a big old beach-vacation. All the siblings with spouses and collection of wondrously adorable offspring were there. Every one of us. With plenty of spray-whip-cream, an inappropriate number of packages of bacon, lots of diapers, and cut-throat card games and pretending to be pirate-ship captains. Nothing better than this crowd to inspire me to get my camera out. Therefore, these photos.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSS4C7L76pSN9RP7gjwWuRGzhLjYCYnF3a3ycE-p9KUNdh4naEmizfFOU7dK9-ai7TnPl-YD3z9l3eHAoG_zXQDhYO6m-XJbMM9ZPfKxcNByjD8evLQXZWQzrxKbnXKvF95u-1cMeE5lg8/s1600/Beach18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Eks-9zaTafUSyOwllz9a1rAaUOI8LBMe2XAGhDeseUGNIHlMhcKJfgjwSORaIOvO9Vci1uGWGrSqXV_jyb1VE1D8bmhykdW3s83qDSpIUwce04ESLA9Ac_PIrEZNppxjT-uEmzjjerdF/s1600/Beach20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnVfRlKX7ru6DfpVZeqB_8NqNqAyd7gx9wnmy7cLdTeJwAPE7uNWxUs8QqWDpw63mn0GY7MdT9aLwfh9V95R5OsWMuBR36Xx_2INNOQzEwEHQDXLyOeWwSL4bNjXcjX2pdlVDcAPRPFSI/s1600/Beach22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnVfRlKX7ru6DfpVZeqB_8NqNqAyd7gx9wnmy7cLdTeJwAPE7uNWxUs8QqWDpw63mn0GY7MdT9aLwfh9V95R5OsWMuBR36Xx_2INNOQzEwEHQDXLyOeWwSL4bNjXcjX2pdlVDcAPRPFSI/s1600/Beach22.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
I'm crazy-blessed to have every one of my five siblings in Oregon, and the furthest one is only about and hour and half. (Which still feels too far, JOHANNA MY LOVE). Not only are we short-roadtrip distance, but we all actually <i>like</i> each other. (And love each other, but most of us are too emotionally constipated to talk about it). Plus, we all like the people that everyone else married (and also, the mess-of-babies that resulted).<br />
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I really love my family. (duh). But seriously. Families are weird--they basically create you, clean up your vomit, laugh at you, tickle you (THE WORST), take you on peanut-butter-and-jelly adventures with swords, kick you in the butt whenever you bend over, throw slugs in your hair, tell you when to knock off the stupidity, mock you when you wore stripey toe socks, and definitely have a large hand in building you for the rest of your life. Usually there's an enormous amount of bickering and laughing and the psychological warfare and manipulation of the horse trading card game (oh, just me? okay), and then everyone starts to do the unthinkable: grows up. Grows up and trickles out of the unfancy but made-magical-by-memories house.<br />
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Being the youngest has it's advantages (basically everything--but I maintain I WASN'T SPOILED IN ANY WAY), but one of the disadvantages is thusly: you have to watch everyone abandon you. Only Bethany, my best-friend-in-all-the-world didn't leave me, and you have her to thank for my (semi) sanity. For real, if it hadn't been for her in my entire life, who knows where I'd be.<br />
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But fun fact: my siblings are amazing, and I actually ended up getting even closer to them after they got married and left me. Amidst all of the real life tough stuff that makes all the seemingly-world-ending disappointments of being a kid look enormously silly, there were lots of weekends spent at their tiny apartments/in-the-country-with-amazing-stars-houses, death-garlic-breath-producing Mongolian grill dates, getting much-needed flowers or boxes of donuts, watching Mission Impossible and drinking chocolate milk at 5am, basic holding-me-while-I sob, deep beach walks, and Black Friday shopping marathons.<br />
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And when Peter came around, everyone pitched in by grilling him, answering all my "what the heck should I do??" kind of questions, third-wheeling beautifully (in the kind of way that makes you love the third wheel which isn't even really a third wheel--more like couldn't-manage-without-you kind of wheel), and eventually, working for hours and hours toward the wedding of our dreams. (And my marvelous sister-in-law Katelyn even made us all our food and sent it with us for our beach honeymoon). And now we get to be couple-friends with them/BFF three-musketeer friends with them (BETHANY ♥ ). They tell us what's what about marriage and give real-estate advice and go camping with us and leave soup and apple juice on our doorstep sometimes they lend us romantic comedies or give us pints of raspberries that revolutionize our entire week.<br />
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I'm never really been much of a believer in clannishness, family-above-anything, blood is thicker than (water?), etc, but when I think about it, I'm like "woah, my family is rad!"<br />
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I feel like we're all kind of weirdly loyal in an unspoken, brotherhood kind of way to each other, all have some commonalities--stupid self-consciousness, hefty eyebrows, and a deep and irradicatable love for books (additionally: buying them on Amazon). Our parents went on kids-bookstore dates and have about forty book shelves, so we were all doomed. We're not one of those "crazy" families. We're not really dramatic, ethnic, rich, and we don't all sing in a band. (We do a mean sing-out-of-hymnbooks-around-a-dining-room-table situation though). We're not even Italian, sadly. (Mostly Austrian actually. Not as conventionally magical--aka it's where Hitler came from.)<br />
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But I dunno man, I just big-time love these people. And I'm more and more desperately grateful for the abundant grace of Jesus in my family and unimaginable sacrifices and the hard work of my parents to teach us Jesus and the Bible and to get along with each other instead of just screaming and slamming doors. Don't get me wrong, we're all still plenty screwed up but:<i> </i>we all have plenty in common still (and not just the oh-yeah-we're-related part), we get along, we help each other out, whenever we can finally once-in-a-blue-moon <i>all </i>spend time together, it's a genuinely, kid-screamingly good time.<br />
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I'm really, really thankful for that. I see more and more stuff fall apart, and I realize more and more that it's such an undeserved fluke that I got a family as wonderful as this one.<br />
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I've always been an adventure-junkie. And somehow I ended up getting to tackle life with this glorious human being who is the best possible fellow-adventurer, with a job that lets us kind of do whatever the heck we want sometimes.<br />
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So, naturally, we went to New York City.<br />
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2013/01/new-york-city.html">I went with my mama and bestest Bethany two Octobers ago,</a> (which was a month after Peter and I for-real started our relationship), and immediately after/during being there, I wanted to go back, especially with Peter, because we'd <i>both </i>be straggling behind staring up at buildings and taking pictures for too long. And if you're this in love with something, you really ought to have your husband meet it.</div>
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Traveling with him is my favorite. We both have the same philosophy about travel: it's pretty much just about eating food in a new place. And as much different food as you can possibly fit in. Literally and figuratively.<br />
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Neither of us are big on the sight-seeing, scheduling everything as tight as you possibly can, stressing out kind of travel. Going somewhere new is my favorite when we're more relaxed and spontaneous, and eat an obscene amount of food.<br />
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Plus, there were a lot of things I'd wanted to see in New York City, but I'd seen most of them the first time, so it left the second trip full of wandering-around-finding-french-bakery kind of possibilities.<br />
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One of the best parts of being married is that we can share food. This is bad on one hand, because we're both panicky, eat-it-too-fast-because-otherwise-the-other-person-will-eat-it-all kind of sharers (aka, really bad at sharing), but it's awesome on the other, because you get to try more things. We tried to maintain a continual state of semi-hunger by only getting one thing and sharing it, so that we could eat more at any given moment (so as to try the most things humanly possible).<br />
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We were also traveling very, very stingily--we got to stay in a friend-of-a-friend's apartment, we didn't do anything that we'd have to pay for (someday, Empire State building, someday), so the only thing we spent our money on was subway passes and food (as cheap and as amazing as we could).<br />
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Jenna, the magical person who I met last time we were on the East coast, and <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us-part-ii.html">who gave me the advice to MARRY PETER,</a> was able to meet us and run around for a day with her person, Taylor, who goes to college in NYC. He has a fancy apartment on Wall Street and a much greater knowledge of the city, and it was a relief to have someone to follow around for awhile instead of the ongoing struggle with the "map" (as in, glitchy and incorrect iphone directions).<br />
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Getting to photograph them was glorious, because whenever we travel places, we want to do a <i>photo shoot </i>there, not just take tourist pictures. So we got our New York City photo shoot after all. (Um, please call us immediately if you're in NYC and have need of a photographer.)<br />
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And<i> </i>for the first-time-ever, we got to have some pictures of us <i>together </i>while traveling. Taking lonely pictures of each other/vaguely horrific selfies (see above) only goes so far. (all the photos of us are of course by Jenna or Taylor, and the rest are by me or Peter. also we <a href="http://instagram.com/susannah_hope">instagrammed</a> heavily).<br />
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I love them so. They're both outrageously talented, artistic, and just, wonderful.<br />
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The Brooklyn Bridge was even better the second time because there wasn't a slew of ugly construction, we cheated and only walked halfway, and I got to make out with my husband.<br />
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King-of-the-world-ing. (yes, Taylor is Kate Winslet in this scenario...)<br />
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We explored Brooklyn Heights. Jenna found the flower shop, and the males found the real estate, of course.<br />
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Severe hunger was solved by the magical Shake Shack, where possibly the best fries, burger, and milkshake were devoured in an obscenely short amount of time.<br />
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AUGH. them. ♥<br />
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The only thing we bought from a food cart was on the desolate night we wandered around the financial district, ravenous and exhausted, and got the stalest, toughest, most delightful bagel I've ever had.<br />
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One of my favorite parts of the trip was getting to hold his hand so much. It sounds weird, but in everyday life, a satisfying amount of hand-holding doesn't really happen. But walking miles all over a city for several days means running across streets and racing to catch subways and meandering through parks and hurrying through sketchy neighborhoods while holding each other's hands, and that's just the best.<br />
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We had a truly awful Monte Cristo sandwich at a rather unfortunate diner in Times Square, which ended up being one of my favorite parts of the trip, due to exhaustion-induced delirium/laughing fits and the subway fiasco that followed, which ended in us walking back to the apartment on genuinely terrifying Brooklyn streets at 2am. The things that are almost weepily horrible at the time, but are later a "remember that awful/fantastic night?" you can look back on. I'm sure you know the type.<br />
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We stopped for unreasonably long in Central Park to listen to this amazing group of Jesus-song singers. This guy was singing Ave Maria and I ended up crying. Top life moment actually. Don't ask me to explain the disaster that is my emotions, k?<br />
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Propped the camera on our backpack and did a timer photo. :) And then when we were taking unattractive camera selfies, a biker guy offered to take a <a href="http://instagram.com/p/njZfVXvXJp/">photo</a>, which is one of my favorites.<br />
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I love him, I love him, I love him. Gah.<br />
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One of many of our French cafe obsessions.<br />
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Ever since I first went to Little Italy, I've been dying to go back, but this time, with my beautiful (have I told you he's part Italian?? it makes so much sense--his hotness, his beautiful eyes, his heavenly pizza, his ability to sell you anything... the fact that I'm desperately attracted to him...) husband. We ate more than we could handle, we dreamed of the running around the for-real Italy together, and we went back for hours the next day.<br />
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We visited the shut-down (because of rain? lame) Coney Island with our friend Julia and her husband and baby. They are a scrumptiously adorable family, and they even bought us Grimaldi's pizza.<br />
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More pizza. With my even-buys-me-coke, silly face-making man. (p.s. his pizza is better than any we found in Little Italy).<br />
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Lombardi's Pizza--America's first pizzeria.<br />
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We played cards and had Ultimate Jumbo Cannoli (or something like that), until we were told they aren't allowed to have people play cards unless the place has a gaming license). (???) This is an outrage, and finalized the fact that we could never actually live in New York City.</div>
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We pilgramiged to Dominique Ansel's bakery, the home of the original cronut. They'd sold out hours ago, but we got to have a chocolate chip cookie shot and some other wonderful pastry.<br />
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Eight Turn Crepe in SoHo--strawberries and chocolate and matcha. Heaven.<br />
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We went to a restaurant in Chinatown where no one really seemed to understand English, and managed to get pork dumplings, which we ate very classily (not) on the street.<br />
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We stopped at a random coffee shop in urgent need of a bathroom, but it didn't have a bathroom or even any pastries--however, it did have the hands-down best latte I've ever had.<br />
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We rode the Staten Island ferry, and ate our saved-up leftover pizza and best-donut-ever from a French bakery in SoHo. It had chocolate INSIDE. It was wondrous.</div>
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I realized some things about traveling. I hadn't thought about what it would be like travel with My Person. Instead of desperation to take an enormous amount of photos and remember everything that happened so you can tell everyone about it, it's much more peaceful--we get to live it together, and so it's more about "hey, remember that time we thought we might get mugged in Brooklyn? remember that baguette sandwich that forever changed the way we look at lunch time?" and less about "hey everyone! one time I went to New York City! listen to my stories that don't really matter!"<br />
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I guess it becomes important because we were together, and the rest of the reasons aren't important. And even if I hadn't taken any pictures or told anybody any stories, it would still be amazing, because of who I got to run around with.<br />
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Basically, I'm hopelessly in love with him. And adventures with him are my favorite. Even though we're still working out the tangles--we've had our share of airport fights and bickering over directions and hunger/exhaustion-induced nastiness (pretty much exclusively on my end).<br />
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But after quite a bit of practice, I think we're starting to get the hang of the trickiness of traveling together. And the happiness of coming home to a clean little home and the abruptly and abundantly green Oregon and our life with less people and more cuddling on the couch--it's one of the best things in the whole world.<br />
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I finally wrote <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/03/and-then-we-got-married.html">the post about our wedding</a>... and unfortunately, it seems to be too big and isn't showing up in feeds. So here's links to all of the posts. I'm sorry they're obscenely long, and I'm sorry it took an obscene amount of time. And now I'm so excited to get to blogging about my for-real-right-now life. </div>
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us.html">we hung out</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us-part-ii.html">we fell in love</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us-part-iii.html">he asked a really big question</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/03/and-then-we-got-married.html"><span style="font-size: large;">and then we got married</span></a></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-74125405846856722132014-03-08T10:00:00.000-08:002014-03-08T10:43:55.590-08:00and then we got married.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So we got <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us-part-iii.html">engaged</a>. And the crazy, wedding-planning, completely overwhelming, scary, antsy-to-be-married-already-sheesh 3.5 months began.<br />
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The first day I got to sit down at my computer to completely legitimately look at Pinterest and plan my actual, about-to-happen-wedding was a very, very good day. :) Ironically, now that I was actually engaged, the multiple and exhaustive wedding plans I'd made for the past (fifteen?) years no longer applied whatsoever, and I was pretty much at square one for most things. I felt like such a fraud as a female.<br />
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The photographer was pretty much the most important thing, and my plans to have Peter shoot my wedding were rather ruined by me actually marrying him. Awkward.<br />
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A couple months before we got engaged, during the time when I thought we wouldn't be getting married for a long time, and when Peter was designing my ring (!!), we were at a coffee shop a few minutes from his house, reading the "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" book. This couple (he was tall, she had perfect curly blond hair, and they had a dog), asked us "are you two engaged?" An awkward moment, followed by some kind of "no/uh not yet". They said the reason they asked was because they're wedding photographers. What do you know--we are too! We ended up having a blast talking to them for almost an hour about wedding photography. And we found out they're a married Christian couple doing photography as a team--and they lived just a few blocks from us!<br />
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When it came time to actually find a photographer, we were super bummed about the lack of good (and affordable for our budget!) photographers in our area. Peter's style is my absolute favorite, and that's exactly what I wanted for our wedding, so it was making things difficult. We had a couple consultations, but nobody seemed like that great of a personality fit, and everyone was beyond budget. We didn't think we could afford Jake and Anna (the couple from the coffee shop) at <a href="http://www.lovethesweetlife.com/#/page/51ea/sweetlife-photography--portland-wedding-photographer/">Sweetlife Photography</a>, and we hadn't seen much of their work. We finally were able to go to their house to just talk photography, without the intention of talking about <i>our </i>wedding photos, but while we sat in their beautiful house drinking Izze and seeing their beautiful photos (kids with bubbles! ♥), we both simultaneously were falling in love. At the very end, they said they didn't think we were still looking, but if we were, they'd love to make something work for us. So they did! We were so thankful to find photographers that fit so well and that we have a relationship with.<br />
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Despite how crazy being engaged was, I absolutely loved it. I loved wedding planning, but whoever had the idea to be planning the biggest party of your life while in the most distracted and groggy-with-sappiness stage ever, was not very nice. Thankfully--MOMS TO THE RESCUE. </div>
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Things I thought before I got engaged:</div>
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1. Wedding planning would be manageable and super fun! </div>
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2. I'd never get tired of it like other girls seemed to.</div>
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Two days in, and I was already overwhelmed and wishing we could just get married. My event-planning-machine Mama gracefully headed up things so I didn't have to be the one keeping track of everything (the whole shebang would have run aground in no time), but I definitely didn't do the chill "I don't really care" thing. I DID care. Sometimes I had no idea what I wanted, or just knew I <i>didn't </i>want <i>that, </i>but I ridiculously cared about well, most every little thing. I'm not the kind of person that is chill with ivory for the wedding dress and white-white for the groom. World: I apologize.</div>
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But somehow, we still managed to do a bunch of really amazing things in the middle of it all.</div>
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The beach, a few times. Family Camp, which marked the one year anniversary of us first talking about photography and Jesus and TV shows. I was violently sick about half the time, but he still hung out with me. ♥<br />
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We got to register together (lifelong dream to walk around with the beeper things). We registered for Lucky Charms and superhero bandaids and luscious white towels (we had to touch every single one) and heavenly white comforters and bright red dishes.<br />
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My mama and I still managed to squeeze in our long-planned for adventure together, which was San Francisco. It was amazing. I took hundreds of pictures and haven't edited or organized them one bit.</div>
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We did premarital counseling with one of the wisest and kindest people in the whole world, and got to hash out budgets and complicated wedding ceremonies and holy-cow-marriage-is-scary.<br />
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We got to eat a lot of donuts in order to find the perfectest ones for the wedding. (<i>That </i>was something I was definitely sure about from the beginning).<br />
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He bought me amazing things like smiley face balloons and Coke and red roses.</div>
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I turned 20. We ate Mexican food (of course). Bethany and I went on our last-hurrah mini roadtrip to the hippy festival/Matisyahu concert. Our eardrums were damaged and it reeked of beer and marijuana and it was glorious.<br />
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There was plenty of turmoil about venues, and we ended up taking the tom-fool risk to do it out at my grandparents' old property. My family had spent so much time working and playing and dancing out there, and it seemed like it could be the perfect place for the reception. My brother (pictured above, chained) and his wife live there now, and tons of people helped whip the rather sketchy place into shape. Tearing down falling-apart buildings, trimming, raking, hacking, mowing, tree-felling, turning-trees-into-benches etc. It was a huge job that we barely got done in time. And we all just prayed like the dickens that it wouldn't rain.<br />
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I had a dream-come-true bridal shower, pulled off by the greatest maid of honor of all time, my beautiful and impossibly amazing Bethany. There were waffles, fruit loops, whip cream, <i>and </i>presents. It was insane.<br />
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I had amazing late-night talks with my girls, and a very merry bridesmaids night and an amazing bachelorette party. </div>
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We still managed to carve out some times of "NO WEDDING TALK", getting to read and play cards and dream like crazy together.</div>
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We drank coffee and talked about baby names and he made the happiest in the world because he actually liked some of the ones I thought he never would.</div>
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We practiced our first dance in rubber boots in our barn when I fed the chickens. </div>
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We shot weddings and I got weepy every time because pretty soon <i>we </i>were going to be up there.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNJZzHHv_5ojnYB0zX2BjrVcxNIB-7BBSTVknItEhqK39tFCNi66wAztB7fx6PN4AszRYVaF9xfY_i0XwUdenE9b8lqaZ2POvKg5pf_8E04qzZXJ32Mm8cAvNV6ElclOIg5sRSYtFQIvr4/s1600/IMG_1923.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNJZzHHv_5ojnYB0zX2BjrVcxNIB-7BBSTVknItEhqK39tFCNi66wAztB7fx6PN4AszRYVaF9xfY_i0XwUdenE9b8lqaZ2POvKg5pf_8E04qzZXJ32Mm8cAvNV6ElclOIg5sRSYtFQIvr4/s1600/IMG_1923.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjizvEqmk-YUYEbNwhnd-0tYInoeOaIHxlJeWdyUYfnpexZPE1HrY05ZBQ9PHFV_PDrVcOyTISGp4qmCurIgx8wjAazRBWA3PHwDNa_itTFFT-pPR6ranx2RFro4KX0b1oxjLNYntx0vh/s1600/IMG_2143.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjizvEqmk-YUYEbNwhnd-0tYInoeOaIHxlJeWdyUYfnpexZPE1HrY05ZBQ9PHFV_PDrVcOyTISGp4qmCurIgx8wjAazRBWA3PHwDNa_itTFFT-pPR6ranx2RFro4KX0b1oxjLNYntx0vh/s1600/IMG_2143.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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We went on an all-day ring shopping and movie buying spree at pawn shops, and found both of our wedding bands, and cried to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-iMAaG20uE">our song</a> on the way home. </div>
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Peter planned an entire day that was a complete surprise (all I knew is that we were going to do awesome stuff). We got our marriage certificate and had a picnic and went to Oaks Park (ate a ton of cotton candy, rode the ferris wheel about five times, and I even opened my eyes on the upside-down roller coaster because he convinced me to--and it was glorious). Then he took me to The Old Spaghetti Factory, where we'd had our first accidental date while shooting a wedding almost exactly a year ago. AND we went to the fair (got to see pigs! ♥) and ended up sitting under a picnic-stained tablecloth in the middle of the carnival and being so, so thankful we got to be married in not-too-long. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">wedding morning verses</td></tr>
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Real talk guys: being engaged was simultaneously amazing and terrifying. I hardly ever felt completely sure/at peace/how-an-engaged-person-should-feel. There was more than one "I don't know what's wrong with me", scary, teary conversation over hummus/Burgerville/sitting on a rock looking over the city. It wasn't just overwhelmed, emotional, bride-to-be stuff. I was spiritually out of whack, and I was really terrified. Saying "yes" when he proposed didn't make it all better. Peter could feel me holding back, and I think it scared him, too, that I was so palpably not <i>all in. </i>I was still clinging to self-protection because I was so dang scared.<br />
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Somehow, he gave me the space I needed to wrestle through my own confusion, without ever wavering in his commitment. While I was terrified that I might not want to marry him and he did want to marry me, I was even more terrified that he'd end up <i>not </i>want to marry me. And I gave him plenty of reason. I felt like a completely different, and a million-times-worse person. I can't even fathom how amazing he was through all of it. And when we came out on the other side, it was such a huge testament to his worth. I didn't deserve him one bit. The whole time, he treated me like the person he knew me to be in Christ, instead of this screwed-up basket case. If he had wavered, I would have panicked (ONE of us had to be sure or we're definitely doomed!) And then I would have botched the most amazing gift God has ever given me.<br />
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I seriously talked to Bethany and told her: I <i>know </i>marrying Peter is what I want, but if I freak out on/near the wedding day and say this <i>isn't </i>what I want, TIE ME UP. When I was thinking in line with truth and Jesus and what I really wanted deep down, I was confident. I just never "felt SURE". And I didn't want my stupid fear taking over and doing something horrific.<br />
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I didn't feel even close to normal until the couple weeks before the wedding. No, God never came down and told me it was all going to be okay, and duh, marry Peter because everything will be perfect, but somehow, he got ahold of my stupid, lie-believing, scared-of-myself, scared-of-commitment, clinging-to-self-protection heart, and on the wedding day, I didn't hardly even have nerves, except the I FLIPPIN CAN'T WAIT TO GET MARRIED kind.<br />
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"Our song" was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-iMAaG20uE">Dancing in the Minefields</a>, which I'd first heard, eerily, in a video slideshow of my brother Benjamin and his fiance's engagement pictures that Peter had taken, way before we had started talking. I was SO hoping that whatever love story I ended up having, it would fit with that song, because it was the song I wanted. I didn't want any other song. I realize it's inappropriate to pick your song before you uh, have the person you're supposed to have the song with, but I was just really hoping it would work out, okay? I didn't want to pressure Peter into liking it (as in, <i>not "</i>SO PETER THIS IS THE SONG I HAVE PICKED OUT FOR US, SO YOU HAVE TO LOVE IT OKAY? Good, that's settled.") I casually (while freaking out inside) showed it to him and as he started to really like it, I eased into the backstory of why I loved it so much. When it got closer to the wedding, after all the scariness and the doubt and the clinging to Jesus, when we listened to it, it gave me chills because it already was our story, in so many ways.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">"And we're dancing in the minefields</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">We're sailing in the storm</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">This is harder than we dreamed</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 23px;">But I believe that's what the promise is for</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">So when I lose my way, find me</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">When I loose love's chains, bind me</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 23px;">At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 23px;">When I forget my name, remind me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">So there's nothing left to fear</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">Till the shadows disappear</span></div>
</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">'Cause he promised not to leave us</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">And his promises are true</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">So in the face of all this chaos, baby,</span><span style="line-height: 23px;"> </span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">I can dance with you."</span></div>
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After the most stressful Thursday of my life, a ragingly hot rehearsal, and a semi-peaceful Friday, Saturday dawned, rain-free. I'd had a horrific head cold, and at the rehearsal, I couldn't even talk. It was a knock-down-drag-out cold, complete with excessive sneezing, and an horrifying amount of snot. I was praying so hard that I'd at least be able to say the vows/be able to breathe while making out. By Saturday I was finally functional, by complete miracle.</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">By the sheer grace of God, we got to the wedding day, without regrets, without running away, </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">and without any mental breakdowns. </span></div>
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[some of my iPhone pictures I took]</div>
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While we were all sitting around waiting and reapplying lipstick and perfume, Peter sent me a note and a dozen donuts. KEEPER.</div>
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I wore my rainbow socks and my Lion King shirt. He gave me diamond infinity earrings.<br />
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I think I tried on about 25 dresses in one day before I found The One. I'd planned to be mature and get something more classy and not puffy. So I tried on a bunch of glamorous, soulless dresses that made me feel like I was wearing a fancy dress, instead of feeling like a bride. My mama convinced me at the very end to just try on a ball gown style one, for fun. I put it on and couldn't stop grinning. It was strapless, and Mrs. Payne, hero of all things sewing, altered it. I couldn't figure out exactly what I wanted, but eventually I just said: "Belle. I want to look like Belle." And I ended up absolutely loving it. Plus, she had to add an inner corset thing so it wouldn't fall off, and we got to add the rainbow ribbon. :)</div>
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We couldn't get married at our church, because it wasn't big enough, so did the beautiful (yet pink) church, which I was a bit worried about. It turned out okay though, and the inside made up for it.<br />
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We had six bridesmaids and groomsmen. He had his three older brothers, two of his friends, and MY BENJAMIN as his best man.<br />
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Grace, who I've known forever and married Peter's cousin/friend/old roommate, did the flowers. His boutonniere was my favorite.<br />
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I LOVE HIM. Hot <i>and </i>hilarious.</div>
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I would have been insecure, a complete disaster, and never married Peter if it hadn't been for Benjamin.<br />
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I searched for hours online, in stores, and even in hippy-town in San Francisco for rainbow-striped shoes. The right ones didn't exist, so my mama MADE them. I'm not kidding. We bought dyeable flats and she made them perfect.<br />
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Rebekah (Benjamin's wife) is a for-real makeup artist and did exactly what I was hoping for. And another friend, Sara, gave me my fantasy bridal hair.</div>
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This is my family. I love them.</div>
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[a picture my lovely bridesmaids took for me to find on my phone later]</div>
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As you can see, I ended up going for rainbow. :) All of the bridesmaids picked out their own dresses in the designated colors, and somehow they all ended up looking beautiful together!<br />
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I wore my tiny elephant necklace Peter had given to me for my birthday.</div>
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We wrote the program, and we had "what he loves about her" and "what she loves about him", and descriptions of everyone in our bridal party.<br />
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Peter made all our hot air balloony engagement pictures into a photo book and we had rainbow Sharpies (♥) for people to sign it.<br />
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My mama made the flower girls little purses with tiny mirrors, stickers, lip gloss, and a bunch of fun stuff to make them feel pampered.</div>
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It's mind-boggling how hard this best-of-all-mamas worked for my dream-come-true day.<br />
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Our church friends played St. Patrick's Breastplate for the processional. And Ange played instrumental versions of a bunch of my favorite pop/love songs for the prelude. (Including Taylor Swift and Jonas Brothers. heh.)<br />
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There were five flower girls--my four nieces and one of his nieces. Virginia, the youngest and probably most thrilled to be getting to be a flower girl, threw up randomly right before the ceremony, which was tragic since it was her dream. But she was back in full form at the reception.<br />
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Gah. This man.</div>
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All of my brothers gave me away, too. I would have been lost without them.<br />
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Everyone sang "And Can it Be" and "Amazing Grace".<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And grace my fears relieved. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">How precious did that grace appear </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">The hour I first believed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Through many dangers, toils and snares </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">I have already come; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And grace will lead me home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">The Lord has promised good to me </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">His word my hope secures; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">He will my shield and portion be, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">As long as life endures."</span></div>
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My brother Joseph directed a hodge-podge choir of a bunch of some of our favorite people (who all happened to have amazing voices), and they sang In Christ Alone, which was one of my favorite parts about the day. That song. Holy cow.<br />
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I had no idea wearing a veil would be so WARM. Sheesh. I was dying under there.</div>
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First-ever kiss. Holy moly, me-oh-my. Yeah. Kissing is THE BOMB. I've heard it's overrated or that it's awkward to do for the first time in front of everyone. I was worried we'd knock heads or something, but things went well (other than the part where we were supposed to stop kissing..) and I'm completely and utterly happy we waited.<br />
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I liked this moment. A lot. :)</div>
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Things that are hard to do:<br />
1. Be aware of anything when you're busy making out with your BRAND NEW HUSBAND'S face.<br />
2. Specifically, pose for pictures.<br />
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Notice Benjamin & Rebekah's shenanigans on the right there? :)<br />
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Amy Hayes, the best wedding coordinator of all time. I didn't have to worry about anything on the day and it was such. a. blessing.</div>
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Again, my wonder-woman mother. She pillaged thrift stores for all kinds of things for the reception, and bought frames, painted them with blackboard paint, and wrote all the signs.</div>
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I made advice cards for people to fill out. (On that Most Stressful Thursday two days before the wedding.) :)</div>
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I'd always wanted my wedding to be something kids actually have fun at, instead of sitting awkwardly dying of boredom. Also, handily, my tastes are kind of in line with a basic 6-year-old, so it all worked out. Hence, there had to be a pinata.<br />
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A food-extraordinnaire lady from our church headed up the dinner. There were a bunch of individual stations for food, like at the fair.<br />
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Krispy Kreme donuts with a rainbow layer cake on top!</div>
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My mama made these too. :)</div>
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A photographer friend ran the very sketch photo booth.<br />
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Keegan is one of the best people in the world. He worked so hard helping us get the property ready for the reception, and he even brought us food.<br />
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Face-painting! My one regret is that I didn't have time to get mine done. :)</div>
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Running around talking to people and eating donuts and "Don't Worry Baby" and kissing him whenever possible. Some of the things I remember best.<br />
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My Disney princess dress was like a magnet for all the beautiful butterfly-face little girls. One of my favorite parts of the entire day.<br />
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We had Dumbo playing on a tiny thrift store TV.</div>
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Dancing to our song. Gah.<br />
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The surprise we had for everyone was Benjamin's father in law driving up in a pickup and being the ice cream man.<br />
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Not sure what happened to Ruby...<br />
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THANK YOU GOD THAT I GET TO HAVE BABIES WITH THIS MAN.<br />
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By the end of the night, the dance floor was mud and my dress was foot-deep in it. I kept just grabbing pieces of tulle and tying them in knot. It got pretty destroyed, but I really wanted to LIVE in my dress. It's meant to be worn, after all. I wore the heck out if it.<br />
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FUN FACT: These are two of my best friends, who've been crazy about each other for basically forever. Just a few weeks before the wedding, they for-real became official and I love them.<br />
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The confetti was genuinely terrifying. It was getting in my mouth and eyes and I couldn't see a thing.<br />
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LOL.<br />
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It was my favorite party of all time. It was more amazing than I ever thought my wedding could be. A million things that could have gone wrong, didn't, and God just really pulled a miracle. I am so humbled by how many amazing people, many of whom have invested in us for our whole lives, came together to bless us out of our minds. It took an village/army of Jesus-loving, servant-hearted people to get us to that day, and to make that day such a beautiful one. I can't even fathom how perfect it was. </div>
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And it was just the beginning of being married to Peter, and these have been the best days of my life. Gloriously imperfect, and THE BEST. Shouting-from-rooftops-the-best. I'm floored at God's grace in giving this man to me. His love is an outrageous miracle, every dang day. Ever since the morning of our wedding day, I have never <i>once </i>not known that this was resoundingly God's will.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">""I do" are the two most famous last words</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">The beginning of the end</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">But to lose your life for another I've heard</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">Is a good place to begin</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 22.986112594604492px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">'Cause the only way to find your life</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><span style="line-height: 23px;">Is to lay your own life down</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">And I believe it's an easy price</span></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 23px;">For the life that we have found."</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 23px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 23px;"><i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-iMAaG20uE">Dancing in the Minefields</a></i></span></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-84203227557798640602014-01-23T15:16:00.001-08:002014-01-23T15:16:13.883-08:00the story of us, part III<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwvXcXdtcJuI0CP1su42X7TUZBkv5uG6HIWTZwAWlR12rk9JfRwQcWhVAueP_WJEl5rk_nwV_e_4E-L9XRWoiNhUIFStHgFZ-ZgmTFwSfaSIORvcNj1AZ39kWWz49ZLCScYwG157y-o6gU/s1600/009.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwvXcXdtcJuI0CP1su42X7TUZBkv5uG6HIWTZwAWlR12rk9JfRwQcWhVAueP_WJEl5rk_nwV_e_4E-L9XRWoiNhUIFStHgFZ-ZgmTFwSfaSIORvcNj1AZ39kWWz49ZLCScYwG157y-o6gU/s1600/009.jpeg" height="424" width="640" /></a>We <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us.html">became friends</a>, we<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us-part-ii.html"> became best friends</a>, and we were both getting pretty ready to progress. Being best friends was great and all, but we were kind of through with the "IF's" and were more than ready to talk about the "WHEN's". WHEN we go on roadtrips, WHEN we have [certainly fat, hopefully adorable] babies, WHEN we have morning coffee, WHEN we make blanket forts.<br />
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But, I was pretty sure there was going to be plenty more of this stage, and was working <i>really </i>hard to be okay with that.<br />
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Being an overthinking, jump-the-gun kinda person, I was trying not to worry about the fact that if we didn't get engaged for 4-6 more months (probable), we'd need to plan a winter wedding. Some people have beautiful winter weddings, but all the things I wanted my wedding to be were decidedly un-wintery (and Oregon just doesn't have the cheeriest winters--cold + rain, but no snow. grievous). Anyways. I really was getting to the point where I was letting go and not worrying as much about the whole thing (while also being mild-to-moderately panicking about the entire relationship [it doesn't make sense!]).<br />
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Also: I'm really into surprises. I'd never wanted to know when/where/how my guy was going to propose. I didn't want to know anything about the ring, I didn't want any part in picking out the ring, I didn't want any whiffs of suspicion that would lead me to find out things. But also: I'd always been super picky about the ring. I'm not into the normal, diamond solitaires, or gold, or colored stones, or too big, or too small, or wedding rings attached to the engagement rings... The only ones I'd seen that I were close to what I would want were the vintage rings I'd seen on Pinterest (but only pinned on my secret boards, so as not to be awkward), and my sister Johanna's beautiful vintage-style engagement ring.</div>
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Peter had nailed it on surprising me thus far, but I didn't expect to be surprised for the proposal. I'm horrifically snoopy/annoying, which doesn't mesh well with my wanting everything to be a surprise.</div>
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Anyway.<br />
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In May, I'd had a really tough, weepy weekend, followed by a really busy workday on Monday. I hadn't seen Peter for over a week (he'd been in Washington for a wedding), and we hadn't even had time to talk much. I had just scheduled several things for Tuesday, and was in the middle of trying to get an enormous amount of orders out at work, when Benjamin called. He said he had been trying to surprise me and Bethany, but he realized he needed to let us know so we could work out our schedule: Rebekah's (his wife's) birthday was Tuesday, and he had been hoping to surprise us all with an impromptu beach trip (impromptu beach trips were a huge and integral part of our childhood ♥, and I love the beach more than life). He said we didn't need to feel like we had to come (we already had plans), but he wanted to at least check.<br />
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This didn't seem weird to me, because Benjamin is the kind of awesome person who would randomly take his sisters to the beach because of their passion for impromptu beach trips. But it was really tricky figuring out if we could cancel all our plans and actually make it. We talked about it with mama, and she seemed a little unsure if we should go ("you probably should be at community group...") [LIES]<br />
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All the drama abated, plans got cancelled, new plans got made. Peter was going to join us at the beach in the afternoon (HOORAY UGH I MISSED HIM).<br />
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Tuesday, however, was POURING rain. Like, dangerous-to-drive, can't-see-a-thing rain. For some reason, Benjamin still wanted to go to Pacific City (nothing to do but be on the beach) instead of Seaside (arcade! candy! putt-putt golf! ice cream! bumper cars!). This seemed irrational, but whatever. I did want to go to Pacific City, since we hadn't been in forever, and it's where our family used to go for vacation for a whole week every year (before everyone grew up & nonsense), plus, it has Cape Kiwanda, a huge, amazing dune we used to always climb.<br />
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We got there, and it was still pouring. We didn't even go on the beach, but finally found a coffee shop, where we stayed for a long time, speculating on what to do, and mostly, being sad about rain. Peter was supposed to be there, but he texted me and said "I'm sorry! I'm trying to finish a wedding album for a client and they keep wanting alterations." [LIES] This was irksome, because I missed him, it was raining, and I wanted him HERE. I tried not to have a bad attitude about it--"I shouldn't be mad that's so hardworking," yada yada yada."<br />
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Apparently, Peter was still going to be hours. So, we went to the [one] restaurant, where we could at least <i>look </i>at the beach. We hung out, ate clam chowder, and waited, waited, waited for Peter. We thought eventually we could climb Cape Kiwanda, and even if it was still raining/windy/horrible, we could just get all our clothes ruined because we'd go home right after.<br />
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Meanwhile, Benjamin fretted about the weather to excess. Sure, it was gross and rainy and we couldn't be on the beach, but it wasn't <i>that </i>big of a deal. There was tiny bits of clear mixed with death-threat kind of clouds, and he kept examining them and fussing about the outcome.<br />
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Pretty much simultaneously, Peter got there, and the sun came out. He hugged Rebekah, gave her a birthday gift, didn't talk to me much (WELL, FINE THEN), and then we headed outside. It was getting more and more sunny, and had suddenly become an absolutely stunning afternoon. I was already happy, and then THERE. WAS. A. RAINBOW. Okay, I understand the cheesy rainbow stereotype stuff, but guys, rainbows are really really awesome. For one thing, all those colors in the sky? YES. The fact that they come out after nasty rain? YES. The fact that you can't have one unless there was ickiness/darkness/hard times before? YES. The fact that they're all about God promising to never abandon us? YES. They're so full of amazing meaning, not to mention the whole, straight-up beautifulness of them.<br />
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Yeah, so I was literally running around yelling "THIS IS THE BEST DAAAAY."<br />
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(I love these crazy/awesome people.)<br />
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GAH.<br />
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We climbed the Cape (much easier than when I was ten), and went over to the other side, which I'd never done before.</div>
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The view is amazing, and everything beyond, on the other side, is <i>glorious. </i><br />
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We ran around taking pictures and freaking out. I told Peter "we should do an engagement photo shoot with a couple here!"<br />
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Peter wanted to go exploring, but I didn't want to go off alone (it's Rebekah's birthday and all).<br />
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Peter gave his camera to Benjamin (not a photographer, but pretty capable with a camera and helpful for getting pictures with <i>both </i>of us in them).<br />
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Eventually, we came across this perfect, deliciously dangerous cliff edge, and I just sat down. I was worried that Peter would think it was a bad idea and not join me, but he did, and I begged him to take a picture of our dangling feet, etc etc. The view was perfect, and we were sitting directly in front of the terrifically setting sun. He asked what I'd been thinking about--"um I dunno, I'm thinking about sitting on this awesome cliff..." and I vaguely noticed that everyone else had disappeared.<br />
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Peter started talking, and all of a sudden I was hearing "when I first knew I loved you" and I was like UM WHAT. He was talking about that time at the Old Spaghetti Factory during the first wedding we had shot together, when we were first becoming friends. This was the first "I love you": so I was a little confused as to what was going on and was this okay and just WOAH.<br />
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He's proposing? WHAT? It didn't feel real at all.<br />
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But sure enough, he said a bunch of really sweet and amazing things, and then he got on one knee (IT'S REALLY HAPPENING) and then pulled out the most amazing ring I have ever seen.<br />
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Pretty sure this happened before I actually said yes. I was too shocked and and too in awe of the ring and too intent on hugging the daylights out of him to say the obvious.<br />
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And then we sat on the cliff for a long time, watching the sun set (it was just ridiculously perfect) and praying and talking about OUR future--finally. Babies and wedding dates (decided it then and there) and how he pulled this off and how I didn't even make an effort on my appearance, since I thought today would be so casual, and how utterly. flipping. beautiful the ring was. I just couldn't stop staring at it. SO SPARKLY.<br />
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The reason he had been so late getting to the beach was <i>not, </i>in fact, because of a client and their photo book finickiness--it was because the ring wasn't done (they said it would be done several days sooner), and he had spent all day talking to them and trying to figure out if it would be done in time. Because he had it custom-made. Gah. He told me the whole huge saga of it, and I couldn't believe how long it had been since he started (almost 2 months), and how amazing the ring was, and that he'd kept the entire thing a secret, and how amazing the ring was, and how many lies he (and many other people) had told, and how amazing the ring was...<br />
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And then I saw Benjamin, who had been sneaking around in the bushes taking pictures without me ever noticing.<br />
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It had turned into such a crazy-beautiful day.<br />
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When Peter had his phone out to take the must-needed WE'RE ENGAGED selfies, Benjamin had texted--"there's wine and donuts behind you". He had snuck up and put them right behind us without us even noticing.<br />
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[the sneaking]<br />
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Bethany was extremely pleased with all these events.<br />
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We finally went back to join everyone and commenced the freaking out.<br />
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...And Peter fell down.<br />
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Like I said, very happy. :)<br />
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Picture courtesy of a mound of dirt.<br />
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We facetimed my parents, since they couldn't be there. (However, Peter had met with them earlier that day for the old approval-to-marry-your-daughter deal).</div>
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At some point, I found out that in the middle of the whole thing, I had scraped my knuckle and it was bleeding everywhere--a nice addition to my [PERFECT] ring.</div>
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Right as we started to head down, it started <i>pouring. </i>Like, soak-you-in-two-seconds pouring.<br />
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So we got the perfect, sunset proposal, <i>and </i>the romantic, pouring rain one. We ran around in the ocean (of course), and dashed into the restaurant to have hot chocolate and french fries and call sundry family members (and tell the waitresses--I JUST GOT ENGAGED!), all very soggily and deliriously-happily.<br />
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And I asked Bethany, of course, to be my maid of honor/BEST GIRL and Rebekah to be one of my bridesmaids, and Peter asked Benjamin to be his best man, which was the closest I got to crying the whole night, actually. I've always wanted my guy and Benjamin to be good friends, but BEST FRIENDS?? Augh it was too much.<br />
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He drove me home in the torrential rain, we got congratulated by the old man in a convenience store, and I finally got to bed around 3 am. It honestly didn't sink in for several weeks--I was kind of going around in a daze. The next morning I woke up genuinely surprised that there was still a ring on my finger.<br />
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Eventually, we got our engagement pictures done, which happened to coincide with a hot air balloon festival (I died and went to heaven, guys). Benjamin did these for us, which was hilarious and the best. Posing coaching included "that looks bad. do something different."<br />
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This is what happens most of the time--me falling apart laughing and him being a total crazy person.<br />
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Photobombed by the lovely Rebekah.<br />
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Up until the very day we got engaged, I had been praying that God would make just make this whole thing clear, and when Peter said he wanted to love Jesus with me for the rest of our lives, "will you marry me?", that was the next door opening, and, shaking and happy and scared and knowing that this was terrifying but/therefore the God-given, beautiful door, but still not overwhelmed with peace by any means, I said yes. (Sneak peek: best decision of my life).</div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-74180815312643318432014-01-11T01:37:00.002-08:002014-01-11T01:41:26.596-08:00the story of us, part II<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So, after <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2014/01/the-story-of-us.html">the amazing summer full of Jesus conversations and second-guessing,</a> the phone call meant: Peter actually DID like me, after all, and wanted to continue getting to know me. That was three days after my birthday, in August, and the day before I got my wisdom teeth out. A horrific affair, gotten through only by the comfort of wildly amazing books, an entire bottle of ibuprofen, and hearing his hilarious stories of his wisdom-teeth-removal experience</div>
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And then in September, Peter and Benjamin had a much more eventful lunch, when Peter told him he wanted this thing to be legit, which led to The Great Awkward Family Dinner of September 2012, and then, our for-real relationship, what you might call "intentional-friendship-with-possibility-of-getting-married-if-it-pans-out."</div>
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Real friends are the best thing, and that's what Peter was. We were honest with each other about sin, we spazzed about books we were reading and mind bombs we were having. We sat around lots of September fires and talked and talked and talked. We took voracious notes on "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Meaning-Marriage-Complexities-Commitment/dp/1594631875/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389284160&sr=8-1&keywords=the+meaning+of+marriage">The Meaning of Marriage</a>" by Tim Keller and discussed it from our moleskins. (read it! read it! read it! it's not just about marriage. applicable to friendships, any relationship… and like, being a human. pretty sure you qualify.) </div>
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I used to really want to get married (marriage is the goal! marriage is the answer!), and somehow, a bunch of things correlated to result in less "yay magical life-fulfilling marriage! love is beautiful! men are gods!" and more "holy cow, marriage is a big deal! it's scary! love is terrifying! men aren't to be trusted! neither am I!" Reading that book made me so excited to be married, but scared at the same time, because it talked about how marriage ISN'T about you, and it isn't about being a magical fairytale all the time. It's about sanctification, which is much better, but much harder. And involves two messed up sinners loving each other imperfectly. But also, the amazing grace of Jesus. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">it works, because I wear rainbow socks and he wears slippers in public.</td></tr>
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We talked a lot about how to make our relationship intentionally focused on Jesus instead of a obsessed-with-each-other mush-fest (which we knew it could easily become). The fact that he initiated these things, instead of just doing the bare minimum of what my parents required, was so good for me to see. It showed me that he knew how to lead, and that he thought about things himself, instead of just blindly following rules to get what he wanted.</div>
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We really wanted to have our relationship be an at least <i>somewhat </i>clear-headed friendship. Since we hadn't known each other (at least, for-real known each other) very long, we weren't going into it SURE we would get married, so while we were knew it was a possibility, we wanted to be careful to not get too wrapped up in that. Which for us, meant not getting physically involved, not making it all about our <i>feeeeelings </i>instead of Jesus, etc. We also didn't want to be all "us-against-the-world"--our brothers and sisters in Christ are huge blessing, and we wanted to take advantage of their wisdom, insight, and advice in our relationship. When people said "I don't think you should do that", we wanted to listen to them, instead of being so sure of ourselves and convinced that we were right, that we couldn't see past our own noses. </div>
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A gigantic post on romance/relationships/single-girl stuff that I had been personally convicted on, had been brewing for months (before I even knew Peter), but by the time I was getting around to actually posting it, I was knee-deep in this whole relationship and so busy I (clearly) never had time to blog. </div>
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Some of the random thoughts I had typed up in the document were:</div>
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<li><i>Jesus isn't an ingredient you can toss into your relationship to make it more wholesome. Jesus has to be the complete purpose, goal, foundation of the entire relationship.</i></li>
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<li><i>The man for you is not the one who will make you have a perfect life, but the one who will help you turn into who God wants you to be. </i></li>
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<li><i>One of the worst and most common things all we girls do is put guys where Jesus should be in our hearts and lives.</i></li>
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I'd learned that Jesus wasn't something you could add to a relationship, or try and fit Him around the rest. He had to be what it was ABOUT. And I was so, so blessed when Peter came along. We never would have even liked each other, we never would have connected like crazy from the very beginning, we wouldn't have had much to talk about, if it hadn't been for Jesus. He really was the reason for our relationship. He was the reason it started, and the reason it continued.</div>
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Peter was so deep, and honest, and <i>real. </i>And increasingly so. To be honest, there are a lot of people who seem awesome/say they are awesome, who turn out to be, well, not awesome. Or at least less awesome. This guy got better & better. And I respected his integrity, passion for Jesus, and understanding of grace & forgiveness more than any guy I'd ever known. </div>
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We had lots of phone calls and mailed notes and dinners with my family and long walks on gravel roads, where we talked about <i>everything. </i>He started a book study at his house on one of the books I'd read during my wisdom teeth fiasco (it's called "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Real-Owning-Your-Christian-Faith/dp/B00CC7T668/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389429875&sr=8-1&keywords=real+daniel+darling">Real</a>" and is <i>amazing</i>). We wrung most people we knew dry for advice on relationships, and had awesome conversations with all my siblings/siblings-in-law about their stories. </div>
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He went to Boston, and I missed him, and he brought me back the best gift: a box including pens & moleskins (win!), polka dot scarf (win!), chocolate (um, win!), and a rainbow whirly lollipop (THE WINNEST OF ALL). He didn't even know I was obsessed with them, but he saw it and it made him think of me, so he bought it. (Keeper.)</div>
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I want to New York & Pennsylvania, and we talked on the phone and I missed him and had to stay longer because of Hurricane Sandy. Which was glorious, other than missing him, because of the impossibly wonderful Jenna + her family, who we stayed with. We edited pictures and drank hot chocolate and made cookies and listened to records and sang Mumford & Sons songs while it rained and rained and rained. </div>
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We made (and ate) a lot of pizza, played cards, watched movies on the couch, did photo shoots, and played taboo. He came with us to get our family's tree (his first Christmas tree ever!) & photo-bombed my family's Christmas photo, he jumped out of my brother Benjamin's trunk to surprise me for an all-day Christmas shopping trip (I was so surprised + freaked out that I scared him too). Christmas with him was tremendously amazing, because he, too, is a Christmas Junkie. (Think, <i>Elf. "</i>SANTAAAA! I KNOW HIM!") He gave me an amazing photo book with pictures of us + significant things, combined with a bunch of our emails, quotes we loved, and my bucket list. He came with us to watch Les Miserables on Christmas Day (so bonding. we both loved it. he cried, I didn't).</div>
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We ushered in the new year with partying and eventually watching Star Wars (I'd never seen it before, which was a personal outrage to him that needed to be corrected ASAP). On New Years' Day, he wanted to fly a kite, which I was totally glass-half-empty about and thought would never work. I wore my rainbow socks and it worked beautifully and shouldn't one fly a kite on New Years Day after all? </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygM2dJyy7gmJn3krcejOsNgmTPoQVPc4iaqB6E2Yjo1rcr2L7xwlYZ2YJf6LpgAdXB9I75hDn9_VxdnUY8-T79mDxhGO04Qmf042pFfBNurmxDO5S0rtbQnMjlgxKEJ1bNyknRt5QM-bv/s1600/734104_10152372054880043_1152862149_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygM2dJyy7gmJn3krcejOsNgmTPoQVPc4iaqB6E2Yjo1rcr2L7xwlYZ2YJf6LpgAdXB9I75hDn9_VxdnUY8-T79mDxhGO04Qmf042pFfBNurmxDO5S0rtbQnMjlgxKEJ1bNyknRt5QM-bv/s1600/734104_10152372054880043_1152862149_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a>He had a lot of crazy ideas I would be cynical about, but every time I decided, "sure! let's do it!" or "okay FINE", it turned out to be amazing. This guy is a risk taker. You know the whole "never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" thing? (Cinderella Story, anyone?? ♥ ) That is my LIFE. I totally am scared of striking out, and therefore never play the game. Literally. (also I hate baseball. but anyway). One of my favorite things about him is that he ALWAYS plays the game, even if he knows he'll strike out, because he isn't debilitatingly self-conscious and prideful and ridiculous, like me. If the metaphor isn't working: basically, Peter does things. He doesn't take himself too seriously, he is unabashedly, and rather terrifyingly weird, isn't scared, and has no shame. All of these traits are kind of shocking in a person.</div>
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We hung out on fire escapes and did photo shoots in the snow, and looked at baby pictures of each other. We watched his old home videos, which included hilarious footage of him strutting around as a 2 year old, flexing his muscles and being the cutest thing in the whole world. Also: him winning the best costume award as a tiny kid at a church event, proudly exiting the stage--and then ME as an equally fat toddler walking up to him, apparently in awe of his celebrity status (even then). So maybe we DID communicate at some point. </div>
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We revamped his website together, laughed uncontrollably about courage pins and completely un-postable "about me" sections. Every time he walked with me down to the barn to feed my chickens, he would make me laugh so hard I had to sit down on the gravel driveway. We watched <i>Babe </i>(with my dad, of course), and <i>Lion King </i>(and freaked out to each other the whole time about the JESUS CORRELATIONS. seriously guys, if you haven't noticed the gospel/Satan/identity in Christ/God as our father themes in there before, watch it again. it will blow your mind.)</div>
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I panicked outrageously about his birthday, and we went downtown with Bethany and did fun things (I hope), most notably having a picnic in a park, watching youtube videos, and eating his funfetti cake-in-a-jar I had made for him. </div>
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I had the best Valentine's day/one-of-the-best-days-period of my life. I've never wished I "had someone" at Valentine's Day, because for our family, it was more about like, LOVE, not just romantic love. But I awkwardly was like "WOW THIS IS THE BEST" when I actually was in a relationship on the day. </div>
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We went out to coffee in the morning, he blew my mind with a succession of completely perfect gifts, we played cribbage (yes, we're like old people), we watched Die Hard 4 with Bethany (this was actually by my request, heh), and then my glorious mother made us a private, romantic dinner which was absolutely perfect.</div>
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We shot more weddings together, and he did a friend's wedding that I was a bridesmaid in (we still managed to do some tandem shooting + fraternizing + dancing). We had an amazing, sunshiny, candy-filled Easter together. We went on a roadtrip to Bend with our friend Sam, to visit Hadley & Kerilynn's family. </div>
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One of the reasons I've always been worried about getting married, is because I'm one of those annoying people who has kind of a short attention span, gets severely obsessed with things for awhile, and then gets tired/bored of them. I figured I would just get tired of the person, which would be awkward, because 50+ years of marriage to someone you're tired of doesn't seem fun. Well, I'm a horrible person, which is why I am this way. But for some reason, I never got tired of Peter. If I'd hung out with him all afternoon, it just made me want to hang out with him for the rest of the day. If I hung out with him all day, it just made me want to hang out with him forever. And it wasn't even because everything was perfect and warm fuzzies. I just really, really liked being with him.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWHPqgMPjiPx4r5PlIlACoCxd3Wg6Y6ZuewQp-XUAX4MzXi-oA8SsnzsDSUPevrhSJt4DNB0z6_sxPXjH-6ZMDtK8y_exqsZFzDTjgLAU1Slx6plyJQL8XBYn5ER59bg2oTRq48H73SATh/s1600/59295_10152293128870043_1064284051_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWHPqgMPjiPx4r5PlIlACoCxd3Wg6Y6ZuewQp-XUAX4MzXi-oA8SsnzsDSUPevrhSJt4DNB0z6_sxPXjH-6ZMDtK8y_exqsZFzDTjgLAU1Slx6plyJQL8XBYn5ER59bg2oTRq48H73SATh/s1600/59295_10152293128870043_1064284051_n.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjViJT07cRZIaTKZx2Zu7pVE1mRiTCT7A_uZ7kMxvrWzPGSOh7eFA4-oUTyqUpkqYgOVLlYtVVW0rXaoF9xd7zFFSvJfiNQDNnu1_V8-V6ruF2xQL7GFoY0sjTNyY0CvbOBGec34ik_n-Dh/s1600/579614_10152691324890043_1336792742_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjViJT07cRZIaTKZx2Zu7pVE1mRiTCT7A_uZ7kMxvrWzPGSOh7eFA4-oUTyqUpkqYgOVLlYtVVW0rXaoF9xd7zFFSvJfiNQDNnu1_V8-V6ruF2xQL7GFoY0sjTNyY0CvbOBGec34ik_n-Dh/s1600/579614_10152691324890043_1336792742_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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We hung out, had deep conversations, and watched weird anime movies with my favoritest person, my Bethany. And abundantly importantly: they not only got along, but heartily approved of each other. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS2En-IIs0vDW0a3jAclAoQm60Hoc2jYbaTGRODXJzqvMwfESiiBSAP8ZoXrT4U_eB426xFL3uN7At9SmreHXpIjAPlXS0A3nmG7-StTvr8QV1TvyphpB-18sLSmodouC9zI7pVKdkLnMu/s1600/418144_10152372019950043_936548740_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS2En-IIs0vDW0a3jAclAoQm60Hoc2jYbaTGRODXJzqvMwfESiiBSAP8ZoXrT4U_eB426xFL3uN7At9SmreHXpIjAPlXS0A3nmG7-StTvr8QV1TvyphpB-18sLSmodouC9zI7pVKdkLnMu/s1600/418144_10152372019950043_936548740_n.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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We collaborated on dinner parties, including one of my favorites-ever--with four other couples, who had all been married for 25-50 years, who had the best stories of God's abundant grace and mercy in their marriages. "There have been hard times, but it is so, so good", is what they all said. That night was one of the times I really, really wanted to marry him.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjce6AG7j8ZGTTFWXKBaBGK9ZscSNJb73obi8XDJxUgzVGIR0MOy-Gaflri3NJk8T7zftiDupQ6Tqe1nG0bMLHB-E2fvbto9PJGDgiGfhO2PzzGrbDhOO8rb2HIFUVCk0l-mhqKoBcaWbkv/s1600/DSC_0133.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjce6AG7j8ZGTTFWXKBaBGK9ZscSNJb73obi8XDJxUgzVGIR0MOy-Gaflri3NJk8T7zftiDupQ6Tqe1nG0bMLHB-E2fvbto9PJGDgiGfhO2PzzGrbDhOO8rb2HIFUVCk0l-mhqKoBcaWbkv/s1600/DSC_0133.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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We fell in love with Volkswagen vans and ate birthday cake pudding (it exists), and looked at pinterest and dreamed big. And played even more cards (sometimes I threw things at his head).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJH7Djl85epTaulupiJyN-jqFlsKklne-iPCv6WJTeI6hwZx175qE5OJ3i3v6iLlW0YRqyutiKCigFhw_jJeFg089ek0FUzJHFr0FcbjiM-OWP5IuCClv8VicpNLnTBBVAI4L062rNEDf/s1600/DSC_0760.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJH7Djl85epTaulupiJyN-jqFlsKklne-iPCv6WJTeI6hwZx175qE5OJ3i3v6iLlW0YRqyutiKCigFhw_jJeFg089ek0FUzJHFr0FcbjiM-OWP5IuCClv8VicpNLnTBBVAI4L062rNEDf/s1600/DSC_0760.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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We created a three-musketeers situation with my brother's firstborn--sturdy, weird-face-making, belly-laughing soul-sister. </div>
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We had picnics at my house, which were punctuated by the lovely Chucky's abusive behavior (my family's squishy black cat, who sinks his claws affectionately into everyone, and who took it upon himself to be our personal outdoor chaperone).</div>
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He camped with my brother, and he came and visited us during our family vacation at the beach, and did his doctory stuff with great glee on Benjamin's busted-open-with-a-knife-while-trying-to-open-a-wine-bottle finger. We had beach fires and deep, deep talks with Ben, who was a huge part of our relationship since the beginning. We explored weird, secret places on the beach and went into scary dark caves and took film pictures of each other.</div>
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<a href="http://instagram.com/susannah_hope">my instagram</a> was the one thing I actually kept updated. some of the pictures I took:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6OWg7OKeai8bDmfKGBrYSvEHFXfqIFhQpcPKMJ-rpsyT7rYQUqi3TJslwjzKTVWqGkVg5unDRIIsowFkvLy5BjOGfifaKwx5K4EDEI1s0r6OhCWmHQjL5pZiCV-AOCr1E1Tir7YFQAVD/s1600/IMG_0623.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6OWg7OKeai8bDmfKGBrYSvEHFXfqIFhQpcPKMJ-rpsyT7rYQUqi3TJslwjzKTVWqGkVg5unDRIIsowFkvLy5BjOGfifaKwx5K4EDEI1s0r6OhCWmHQjL5pZiCV-AOCr1E1Tir7YFQAVD/s1600/IMG_0623.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZOM546NnNeiF3HVLvckW-6S-hlkQOxXCQVTlwfyr2se0H7lykBWs3ywwMOYrbFnDz1Rsz3fETMsiCaRK8MTyfrrsnZp7qqOIGrOXTUbtrWsBZM9Ea8FXYnJm0eamdaIABT6jwz2Cardh/s1600/301953_10152735167330043_1458275300_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXZOM546NnNeiF3HVLvckW-6S-hlkQOxXCQVTlwfyr2se0H7lykBWs3ywwMOYrbFnDz1Rsz3fETMsiCaRK8MTyfrrsnZp7qqOIGrOXTUbtrWsBZM9Ea8FXYnJm0eamdaIABT6jwz2Cardh/s1600/301953_10152735167330043_1458275300_n.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6OWg7OKeai8bDmfKGBrYSvEHFXfqIFhQpcPKMJ-rpsyT7rYQUqi3TJslwjzKTVWqGkVg5unDRIIsowFkvLy5BjOGfifaKwx5K4EDEI1s0r6OhCWmHQjL5pZiCV-AOCr1E1Tir7YFQAVD/s1600/IMG_0623.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6OWg7OKeai8bDmfKGBrYSvEHFXfqIFhQpcPKMJ-rpsyT7rYQUqi3TJslwjzKTVWqGkVg5unDRIIsowFkvLy5BjOGfifaKwx5K4EDEI1s0r6OhCWmHQjL5pZiCV-AOCr1E1Tir7YFQAVD/s1600/IMG_0623.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitqSUJA_zWyTk8T1PqYuqe5LC3IfQ3WkkHHGcYv8pZ_SLgv74iWnQKQBZQIWOMYIEgBlRsAVQWwoAiyLRllbk3X3URGxZma3kpkr3naPkY2uCkQgs019-8PiDqsmbRCU2Kd87kx-uq4RNS/s1600/IMG_0423.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitqSUJA_zWyTk8T1PqYuqe5LC3IfQ3WkkHHGcYv8pZ_SLgv74iWnQKQBZQIWOMYIEgBlRsAVQWwoAiyLRllbk3X3URGxZma3kpkr3naPkY2uCkQgs019-8PiDqsmbRCU2Kd87kx-uq4RNS/s1600/IMG_0423.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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All of this was amazing. But my stupid, stupid self had issues: (many, but among them..) sheer terror of commitment/marriage/love.</div>
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Somehow "these are the best days of my life, I want to be with him all the time, he makes me crazy, laugh-uncontrollably-at-the-dinner-table happy, he's the best man I've ever known" and "holy cow, this is terrifying, I don't even know how I feel, I don't even know if I like him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME" coexisted in my ridiculous head. </div>
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There were several thinly disguised/undisguised panicky coffee dates & car rides with Benjamin, Bethany, my mom, and Melinda (my incredible, mama-of-eight friend), especially, that would go kind of like this. "I just don't KNOW! what if we're not right for each other? what if we'll kill each other? we're both youngests! how could THAT work? THIS IS ALL REALLY SCARY. also, I like him."</div>
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I had a conversation with my friend Juli (freshly engaged) not too long into our relationship, where I was telling her about everything, and worrying "maybe we're too alike!" Even though Peter was overflowing with character and integrity and discipline and diligence (aka completely different than me), we had almost identical beliefs/opinions, and our basic personalities seemed similar: excitable, weird, photographers, loud, hardcore laughers, etc.) Juli snorted (attractively) and said "hah, just wait. you'll find out lots of ways you're different." </div>
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And ever since then, I have realized that: WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE. We have tons of common interests (super handy), we believe the same things (so important), but our personalities are totally different in most ways. Take any man and any woman and you instantly have plenty of differences (men are so weird). We are, however, both babies of the family--youngests of six, with three brothers and two sisters each (freaky), and there are certain baby-of-the-family tendencies we both definitely have. All this is also complicated by the fact that, between the two of us, we probably have about fifteen different personalities. </div>
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But anyways. Quick tangent.</div>
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Remember Jenna, in Pennsylvania, during Hurricane Sandy? We stayed up for hours the first day we met and I told her about Peter and flailed about with my "I don't knooow! I really like him but I'm scared/lame/confused/conflicted and ALSO MARRIAGE IS A LONG TIME" and she gave me some of the best advice I'd ever gotten: love is a choice. being with someone isn't about everything being perfect. it isn't about completely "compatible" personalities. in a way, you choose someone you have a good shot with, and then choose day after day, to love them. The success of the relationship doesn't depend on you, anyway--it's the undeserved grace of Jesus.</div>
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Instead of being a totally head-over-heels, butterflies-all-day-everyday, completely attached, self-respecting FEMALE, I was like some lame guy from a movie, being scared of commitment--partially because marriage, while an incredible concept, since it was all about sanctification & superduper awesome friendship, includes choosing someone you really really love, and then choosing to inflict you and all your nasty, ugly sins on them for the rest of their life. But also, much worse, I was scared of commitment because I was scared of choosing the wrong person, of not being able to love him properly, of getting tired of him. </div>
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I never "just <i>knew" </i>like almost every beautiful girl and her beautiful love story. I kept waiting to KNOW (aka, not feel scared anymore), and it just didn't happen. Did this mean that we shouldn't be together?? </div>
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At lunch one time, I was panicking to Benjamin ("I don't know if it will work!"), and he said "why?" </div>
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Me: "I don't know! I guess...because he's not perfect and I'm a mess... we're both sinners!"</div>
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Ben: "Well, there you go. That's what marriage is about. And everyone is a sinner."</div>
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Simultaneously with this kind of panic, was also the fear that he didn't really like me very much, that he'd decide he didn't want to be with me, that I liked him more than he liked me, that he'd never want to marry me.</div>
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One of the things we always wanted to do in a relationship, and were encouraged by my parents to do, was to stay away from promises and a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff too soon. Peter didn't say he was committed until he could put a ring on it, because he didn't want to be creating false security. Words are a big deal, people. And a lot of guys can really screw up a girl's life with them. Making promises you don't know if you can keep, aren't ready to keep, or never intend to keep in the first place is one of the dirtiest-dog things a guy can do to a girl. If you're not man enough to do what you say you're going to do, then just shut up. In my opinion. Ahem. Anyways. </div>
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I respect and appreciate him <i>so</i> much for this, although in the moment, it was tough, because it made it harder to feel safe (women are safety-junkies. we really are). I think this was so. good. for me though. Instead of trusting completely in Peter, or in my(very untrustworthy)self, this forced me to trust and rely on Jesus. I prayed every night--Jesus, this is yours. I'm trying. so. hard to keep from clenching my fists around this. Do what you want with this relationship BUT ALSO UM COULD YOU PLEASE SHOW ME WHAT I SHOULD DO." </div>
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I kept asking Him to make it <i>clear </i>to me (aka take all the risk out of the equation by coming down and stating: "Susannah, this is a good idea. Marry him. Additionally, he will never hurt you or leave you or sin against you, so it's okay to be all in." Guys, letting go and taking risks and going in blind and not having guarantees and not being a self-protecting disaster is HARD. It seems like most everyone else is so good at it. They "had peace", and "just knew" and "were sure the first moment they saw each other". AUGH. </div>
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Those are beautiful stories, but it's so important not to think that your story is going to be the same as someone else's. God clearly knew what he was doing when He wrote things the way He did. For me, if I'd "just known", which had always seemed like the truly romantic thing (childhood sweethearts! love at first sight!), I would have been trusting myself, instead of clinging, each step, to God, even though I was scared to death and doing a really shoddy job of trusting Him. I'm still realizing the marks of God's goodness and crazy-beautiful plan as I look back at this whole thing. </div>
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<i>aaand to be continued. again.</i></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-63579168326766668172014-01-04T18:14:00.003-08:002014-01-04T18:20:40.254-08:00the story of us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is the story of how I got to know the craziest, humblest, Jesus-lovingest, straight-up <i>weirdest </i>guy I've ever known. And then I married the heck out of him. (see above)</div>
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Summerish 2012, right about the time I had realized that Jesus was absolutely enough, and I was happily looking forward to at least four to five years of being single and mission-tripping and learning and not worrying my stupid head about love and all that scary, complicated stuff, it was the greatest summer of my life. The shallow things on my "husband list" were freshly scratched off. "Tall", "tanned", "has a very reliable, steady job" had been discarded and replaced by "LOVES JESUS."</div>
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The first time I really remember interacting with Peter, was at my brother's wedding in November of 2011. I was wearing a stripy pink shirt, my hair was still damp, I wasn't wearing a stitch of makeup, I was trying to write a note for Benjamin, and I was bawling. Ugly, ugly crying.</div>
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Peter was one of the two photographers at Benjamin's wedding, and right about the time I'm a weepy, hideous mess, he trots in stressfully with his camera and informs us "girls' pictures in 10 minutes!"</div>
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At this moment, the whole weight of my approximately 2 hours of sleep, violent head cold, residual stress of finishing my bridesmaid's dress at 4am the night before, and my confusing and extreme emotions of joy/grief/abandonment on the occasion of my brother getting married, were directed at this stressed-out, trying-to-keep-things-on-a-schedule young photographer guy. The rest of the day improved, and he scored as a photographer by making everyone laugh, all. the. time.</div>
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Peter and I were both born into the same church, to parents who were good friends. He's only a year and a half older than me, so we were both grubby, chubby, babies of the family at the same time. Even though we were in the same church for the majority of our lives, we basically never spoke, or hung out. I remember him being the [very fat] goody two-shoes kid who always got to be lead roles in the Christmas play, but other than that, I had no awareness, let alone interest, in him. When he got older, they moved further away and didn't attend our church as much, and then when he was about 18, he moved all the way to Florida to live with his brother's family. </div>
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About this time he was more on my radar, and I stalked his growing photography business in a purely platonic way. I absolutely loved his happy, colorful photos, and his quirky writing cracked me up, but when I thought "he's cool", it was absolutely never in a "and we should get married" way. For real. (however: I have always known that his eyes are the best eyes in the world. little did I know how good of an idea it would be for them to be the ones I get to look into for the rest of my life. seriously folks--we're talking huge, crazy-beautiful green eyes with world-record eyelashes).</div>
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The second time I remember interacting in any way, was at an event at my church, where Peter was taking pictures, and I was also taking pictures. I was walking past him with my friend Hadley (of course), and he asked me what camera I was shooting with. Startled, in awe that my photography god was speaking to me, not to mention being a basic dunce and having no real conception of what I was, in fact, shooting with (so many letters and numbers! it's hard!). I stumbled around a bit, showed him, and noted that his hands (and ears) were smallish. This made me feel better about myself. The interaction ended with me awkwardly leaving, no doubt, and Hadley, being that sort of friend, whispered "HE LIKES YOU." I retorted that that was the silliest thing I'd ever heard, considering that we'd literally never spoken, he was way cool, and he was a genius photographer.</div>
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The third time, he invited me, Benjamin and Rebekah, and Bethany to his house for the <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/the-blog/peter-mahars-face-study">face study thing</a> he was doing. We hung out in his rather sketch, very cold garage, and I wore a skirt with flowers on it and stood in really bright lights with his face/camera inches away from me. He made me laugh, enormously, and platonically, and he gave us frozen pie and milk. He made me laugh so hard I had to lunge to the sink to keep from spraying milk all over the room. </div>
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I emailed with him back and forth for logistics of him getting me the photos, me doing a <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/03/face-study.html">blog post </a>with a link to his blog post, etc. </div>
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And then during the first few days of June, I was wading through camera lenses on the internet, looking for the right one, and since he knew all + the emailing ice had been broken by the face study, I emailed him to ask if he had any advice on which lens to get. He very nicely helped me figure out which one to get, and then next email was probably the most exciting email I'd ever gotten--I got it on one of my hot chocolate, dance movie, and cat snuggling-saturated weekends at Hadley's house, and I was checking my email on her iPad. (also: email looks really magical on ipads). It said:</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">So Susannah,</span></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I must say I have been half wittingly stalking your blog. I know you like fashion and photography but what are you hoping to pursue in those? Or are you? Have you ever thought about doing a wedding?</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">All these questions,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Peter</span></i></div>
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Commence jumping up and down and immediate calling of my mom. "PETER MAHAR ASKED IF I WANTED TO SHOOT WEDDINGS WITH HIIIIIM. CAN I PLEASE CAN I PLEAAAASE."</div>
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She was excited for me, but mentioned that it might be kind of awkward for us to spend all that time together, etc, because, well, you know…</div>
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I believe the sound I made was "PFF! no way. never in a million years."</div>
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["never say neverrrr." - Justin Bieber]</div>
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I conveyed my rational/frenzied excitement to get some photography experience/get to watch him do his thang/stalk the person who I want to become, professionally. </div>
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I think the email interchange ended with: "I'm going to be at family camp, so we can talk about it more there maybe."</div>
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A couple weeks later was our <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/06/some-days-stay-gold-forever.html">annual church camp</a>--which is invariably life-changing, glorious, dramatic. I went into it KNOWING crazy stuff was going to go down, because I always come out on the other side of that week with a completely different perspective.</div>
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Amidst the perfect sunset, beach fire, and dashing around like a crazy person with friends on the first night, he found me and we talked about iphones or cameras, the wedding we were going to photograph together, random nothings.</div>
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And for the rest of the week, I just wanted to hang out with him. All the time. (which is the story of my life now, by the way).</div>
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On Monday, I sat on the grass, like every year, instead of playing softball, with two friends who were friends with Peter, and had gone to on a Poland mission trip with him twice. We talked about traveling, Italy, mission trips, and then eventually, the church he went to, and ultimately, Jesus. He talked about the reasons he moved back to Oregon from Florida--he wasn't in good community other than his family, and he had realized the importance of community in the Christian walk. "I just really love Jesus, and I wanted to be in a place where I could follow him with the encouragement and of other believers." I didn't even know how true that is or how significant that moment is until later.</div>
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I loved this, and I loved talking about Jesus and church and everything, and it stood out to me that he said he just really loved Jesus, but it wasn't until later when I was wandering around our cabin, trying to figure out what was going on in my life/God's plan/my mind/his mind, that I remembered that I had decided that all I wanted in a guy was a guy who really loved Jesus. My soul was like "woah." Peter was nothing like the guy I imagined I'd be with. </div>
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Mostly because: he wasn't tall. I had sworn on multiple occasions I could never be with someone who wasn't taller than me. Statements like "you can choose who to fall in love with and marry, and I'll just immediately rule out anyone who isn't taller than me" were thrown about. And Peter was by no stretch of the word tall--in fact, he was about an inch shorter than me. I was shocked and appalled to find that this made no difference in how much I liked him/was attracted to him. This was the first day of about 365 that I prayed and begged God to show me what to do/what was going on with this whole deal. It all simultaneously seemed impossible and inevitable at the same time. On one hand, there was no way--and on the other, it seemed the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. </div>
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The rest of the week was a exciting, confusing, turmoil of talking at beach fires, late night discussions of the chapel times with our note-laden moleskins, mafia games in which he read me like a book, embarrassing putt-putt golf games (I tripped and completely wiped out--who does that??), and a continual confusion and horror at the fact that I liked him so much and just wanted to be with him all. the. time.</div>
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Eventually the fact that we were sort of hanging out more than usual (aka we'd never spoken and now we were, quite continually/often) was noted by my people. Resulting in pacing the beach with Benjamin as he off-hand and probingly opened with "so what's up with Peter?" Hadley wavered between interest, skepticism, and resentment, until she participated in one of the Jesus conversations and then put her stamp of approval on the whole situation.</div>
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There was a recurring and horrifying tension of hanging out with The Group, and hanging out with him. On one occasion we were all at the beach, whereupon Peter was showing me very fascinating camera settings, and Sam + were all wanting me to go back with them. All else failing, he seized my arm and said "photography lesson is over! you're coming with us."</div>
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And then I drove home with Benjamin & Rebekah for the usual what-dramatic-weird-new-stuff-happened-at-family-camp debriefing. We tried to figure out what I was thinking/feeling and what he was thinking/feeling. It ended with "he might like me (hallelujah, I think? so confused), he might not (dies inside a little bit) he might just want to be completely platonic friends, and I'm okay with that. I think." Part of me figured it was just a family camp thing, and nothing would come of it. I decided to try and stop worrying about it, and see what happened. </div>
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Incidentally, I got home, unpacked, turned on my computer, and there were not one, but TWO emails from him. Which began a hearty, way-deep, daily email correspondence. It started out as just communicating about get togethers/info on the weddings we were going to shoot, but it forthwith turned into huge, complex basically-books on Jesus, theology, books we were reading, and just about everything else. I was absolutely giddy to have someone this awesome to talk to about Jesus. We had both come to a certain point nearly at the same time--and becoming friends that summer was completely amazing and utterly providential. We both read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan at the same time, and discussed it for pages and pages. </div>
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The first wedding we shot together was on a damp, humid day in a tiny white church. The reception was at the Old Spaghetti Factory, complete with beautiful red velvet cake and a bokeh-licious chandelier. We were supposed to take a break to eat dinner, but the only area to do so was not for minors, and since we were both underage, the waiter brought us a tiny [romantic-dinner-sized] table and wedged it in the corner by the pile of gifts. So, in the middle of a workday, we accidentally had an amazing dinner together. As usual, it was a situation that should have been awkward (not only were we accidentally on a date basically, but we were eating 1) noodles, 2) garlic, and 3) salad. All things that I had always hoped to avoid eating until after I was married to the guy. Super embarrassing), but it wasn't. </div>
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The second <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/09/colin-sara.html">wedding</a> we did was for church friends, and when we were off duty, he asked me to dance. It was "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1xs_xPb46M">One Thing</a>" which I happened to love that summer (don't judge). And that's when I thought he really might like me. I was blushing up a storm and completely botching the dance, and extremely aware of the people who were watching (and taking pictures, in the case of one of Peter's friends...), but it was amazing. </div>
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The rest of the <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/10/we-are-free-and-his-is-glory.html">summer</a> was just tremendous. Bethany and I drove all over in the stupid cramped red car and had book studies and game nights and movie nights, most of which incidentally involved Peter. There many, many deep discussions over fire pits, and many, many tacos eaten. We climbed Mt. St. Helens and talked about theology all the way back down the mountain. </div>
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Right as summer wound down, I realized I liked him way too much for this to be a platonic/going nowhere thing. I was worried he didn't actually like me (can we just talk about the torment girls go through?? sheesh. we're so dumb but IT IS REALLY HARD), and if this wasn't a for-real thing, I knew I needed to back off of the emailing/etc. My parents, fully involved in my mess of feelings, were getting a little ready for some 'declaration of intent' or what-have-you. My brother Benjamin and Peter's friendship had progressed by this time to the getting-lunch-together stage. These blessed events were followed by me closely questioning Ben about what had been discussed. Ben thought he liked me but hadn't asked him point blank, but was poised to if it became necessary. One time we were loitering in the bleachers at an empty football field after church and he told me that when wife-ish stuff had been touched on, Peter had said "it's really hard to find beautiful godly women." I promptly declared I had no chance, and Ben promptly declared I was stupid.</div>
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I was home alone one day and the phone rang. It was a guy, who sounded young, really professional, and to be honest, really hot. He wanted to talk to my mom, but when I spouted ritualistically "she's not here, but I can take a message or have her call you back", he declined and hung up. I briefly thought this was weird, but figured it was someone trying to sell something and went on with my life.</div>
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Not until later did I find out that it was Peter who had called, and he was going to talk to my mom about ME. Realizing it was me, he panicked and hung up. He didn't call again until a couple weeks later, because our family was involved with the busy-ness and turmoil of my glorious nephew getting born to my rascally brother & his beautiful wife.</div>
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And then my mom poked her head into my room at the end of August and said "Peter Mahar just called." Which led to everything else.</div>
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to be continued.</div>
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p.s. somehow this story became a monster--I do apologize. </div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-18606152629493108132013-10-15T04:00:00.000-07:002013-10-15T04:00:12.333-07:00real quick story.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEile8LP0SHNTHjuR4wH7F3q0YWw3L2R2KM-QU2P8_YRGb1sT4S6zaymzWO6GnZ93248zAyjiDW3dUxkMsyD6yn0t0c3n0h0eB_O-Q0ixvEoTUw70-E4s6ZLbH9ui9MjkQ9DEPB8wqoy8W3F/s1600/056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEile8LP0SHNTHjuR4wH7F3q0YWw3L2R2KM-QU2P8_YRGb1sT4S6zaymzWO6GnZ93248zAyjiDW3dUxkMsyD6yn0t0c3n0h0eB_O-Q0ixvEoTUw70-E4s6ZLbH9ui9MjkQ9DEPB8wqoy8W3F/s640/056.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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one time last summer I started talking to a boy I'd grown up with but never spoken to,</div>
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and he really loved Jesus,</div>
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and we kept talking.</div>
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and we took a lot of pictures and ate a lot of pizza,</div>
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and laughed way, way too much.</div>
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and later we got married.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg48nspIUklftgduLKjE3mXFkkB7HwK5bC6yzJJ-o_PATKY5yPjuqBbQP3noGbAWoLz2_BevdPOihgCNrbRo_Fik94snrVC_WCLy2z3SARinnIxlxahUSQA_rYNjUcHcQyL5DIe1Y9n8Ia7/s1600/032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg48nspIUklftgduLKjE3mXFkkB7HwK5bC6yzJJ-o_PATKY5yPjuqBbQP3noGbAWoLz2_BevdPOihgCNrbRo_Fik94snrVC_WCLy2z3SARinnIxlxahUSQA_rYNjUcHcQyL5DIe1Y9n8Ia7/s640/032.JPG" width="640" /></a> so now I'm a wife (!!), and I live in the upstairs of an old house </div>
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and I get to hang out with this awesome person all the time.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MrhJtMGNu06RnyymuNULCqphFN5WrxczRqWBgBNN9tlxgQi5m-8OTrXAMdhQI3otcmQC3FVmN7aWAP0SS79aGfrXxFRFU5W5pYSGVAMgYHHhJDlydoV464ONVXjFAWmJwJYIw4BFlF-G/s1600/033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MrhJtMGNu06RnyymuNULCqphFN5WrxczRqWBgBNN9tlxgQi5m-8OTrXAMdhQI3otcmQC3FVmN7aWAP0SS79aGfrXxFRFU5W5pYSGVAMgYHHhJDlydoV464ONVXjFAWmJwJYIw4BFlF-G/s640/033.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I want to write about everything, but for now--yeah. I fell in love with him, I married him, I fall more in love with him every day. I still can't believe I'm a wife (does this mean I have to be an adult? yikes), and I am floored daily by the crazy grace of God.</div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-76324310891087725872013-03-15T17:39:00.002-07:002013-03-15T17:39:54.261-07:00happy day.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My been-friends-forever friend Juli got married last week. She was calm and gorgeous and abundantly happy. I got to be a bridesmaid and wear a sparkly dress and red high heels. (I love her.) A lot of my favorite people were in the wedding party, and there was even cloudless blue sky and strawberries. Basically, an amazing day getting to see Juli and her Scott start a brand-spanking-new life together. Weddings are glorious, guys.</div>
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And in between bridesmaid-ing, I got to take a bunch of pictures with a camera that is not my own and which I love ferociously. THANK YOU <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">PETER</a>.</div>
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(these group pictures taken by gorgeous sister-in-law)</div>
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I love my siblings. They are beautiful <i>and</i> they are nice. WIN.<br />
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My parents + all their grandchildren. Seven so far! </div>
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It was a happy, happy day and now the first of the my-age friends are married and I THINK THAT MEANS WE'RE GROWING UP which is terrifying and exciting and also just a little bit of <i>can-we-go-back-to-being-nine-years-old-and-running-around-outside-all-day-jumping-out-of-apple-trees</i>??</div>
Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-89823463376595264732013-02-08T16:27:00.000-08:002013-02-08T16:29:42.478-08:00life.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Today, there is sun and blue sky. Winter is loosening it's clutches. Life is incredible and Jesus is incredible.</div>
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I was going to post about being in Pennsylvania during the hurricane but right now, my soul is in no shape to intelligently and peacefully tell you about that week. Sometime I'll tell you about the hurricane and the hot chocolate and the stupendous people I met there, but today--TODAY.</div>
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Life is more full, challenging, overflowing, complicated, and straight-up <i>exciting </i>than it ever has been. It's not at all simple and it's not at all tidy and it's not at all normal.</div>
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God is teaching me so much, and mostly, He's teaching me how much I <i>don't know. </i>And how much I'm messed up and screwed up and flailing and outrageously selfish, and it's not about what <i>I've done for Him, </i>but instead, the scandalous sacrifice He made for me. </div>
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I've been getting to talk to all these beautiful, Jesus-loving, complicated, imperfect people, under black sky and white stars, over coffee, over instant-messaging, over chocolate frosties and french fries, in the car, in church pews, while shipping orders, while cleaning white trim with bleachy rags so furiously that the paint comes off because THERE ARE A LOT OF FEELINGS TO SORT OUT and there is <i>a lot of gospel to pour out on all this crazy complicated-ness. </i></div>
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For about over a year now, I keep thinking <i>this</i>--this is the best. EVERYTHING IS AMAZING and it's stretching me and it's tough and I'm crazy about all these people that I get to serve Jesus with. And then I meet someone new and something else comes up and it gets even more amazing. </div>
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I honestly don't know how it's happening--all this over-abundance of <i>life. </i>More and more living and learning and struggling. </div>
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On the first day of 2013, I got to fly a kite. I'm not even kidding. Was with people who believe in kites, and despite my cynical assessment of "not enough wind" we walked to a park and ran around flying a swirly, multi-colored kite because there WAS enough wind. God so loves to blow our minds with crazy things like that.<br />
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I've been having literally magical days like the one where I got to Taco Bell at the last minute and against all odds, found the perfect (sparkly!!) dress and shiny red heels and got to talk to some of the best people about the best things, and then came home to icy-clear air and hurtifully gorgeous stars.<br />
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And I've been having scary, confusing, rainy days that I really don't see any good in until God opens up my stupid blind eyes to notice how rampantly He is showing up and getting glory through our blundering attempts at living.<br />
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I forget things, way too often. I forget that God loves me, I forget all the times He's been outrageously faithful to me while I was being outrageously unfaithful to Him. I forget that my life isn't my own, to be played around with. It's His, and I want my life to be about surrendering this whole thing, over and over.</div>
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I'm wildly screwed up, and not in a cute, whimsical "I have an imperfect crooked smile" kind of way. More like really, really, one-hundred-percent drowning-in-my-sins, lost and hopeless. And because of CRAZINESS, there is God's grace which humbles me to the dirt and thrills me to the sky. There are two things that I know for dang certain--Jesus is the best ever and I am colossally messed up.<br />
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Ask everyone in my life: I'm blindly and loudly and persistently NOT A GOOD PERSON. So yeah. Jesus.<br />
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Through Jesus, there is strength in weakness, beauty in brokenness, joy in hurt, peace in confusion, and I'm seeing it with my own eyes, and feeling in my own messed up soul, instead of just reading it, or hearing it, and nodding and agreeing without it being <i>real </i>to me.<br />
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Recently my sister-in-law and I found ourselves on the side of a freeway, after getting rear-ended, getting soaked by rain and talking to a beautiful, hurting woman who had just lost her brand-new baby two weeks ago. We huddled in between our car and the semi-trucks roaring past, and my hero-sister-in-law prayed for her and there was crying and shivering and "God is so good!"<br />
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So basically--Jesus is awesome. Jesus is so much more awesome than I'd ever counted on, and through everything that's been happening, it's all becoming <i>real </i>to me in a way that it's never been, even though I've never "not believed".<br />
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Later I'll try and write posts that make sense... this randomness + photos I've taken lately is all I have to say right now. No cohesiveness today.<br />
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I love you guys. </div>
Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-14635804965602596712013-01-10T07:20:00.002-08:002013-01-10T22:29:07.088-08:00new york city<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Somehow, completely miraculously, I got to go to New York City. I literally almost didn't put it on my bucket list, because of the good old twinge of cyncism: "yeah right, that would never happen and if I put it on my list, it will just make me depressed as it continues to <i>not happen."</i></div>
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And then this glorious trip to NYC, and then Pennsylvania for a blog conference, all came together and ended up being the most amazing trip ever.</div>
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Of course I've always loved New York City as an idea--but the living, breathing, place was way more amazing than I expected. It really felt like a totally different world. The whole trip was surreal and kind of unbelievable. </div>
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a few favorite things from the trip:</div>
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<li>Listening to our epic NYC playlist on the train. including, of course, Bob Dylan. I specifically made an appropriate mix of songs to listen to that would remind me of our trip later. Ironically, the city gave us it's very own soundtrack--there were street musicians playing the best songs, there were stores we'd walk past that were blasting the best songs, there were rickshaws playing <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGXD61SapUM">chasing the sun.</a></i></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwOF7UdU9yBkVQ9YDAD6sAjj3KpI78tsLdLxtYfxzUdEroRdSQBmILlK9vFMqe4cNV4h1fOvPRcxu7XYMzgScVL-lzN4EPH5QKyaGb5NAU_8ZS3Wf7ZNPuK7eOi2_8bOGljqte-Vkycud/s1600/NYC+005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRwOF7UdU9yBkVQ9YDAD6sAjj3KpI78tsLdLxtYfxzUdEroRdSQBmILlK9vFMqe4cNV4h1fOvPRcxu7XYMzgScVL-lzN4EPH5QKyaGb5NAU_8ZS3Wf7ZNPuK7eOi2_8bOGljqte-Vkycud/s640/NYC+005.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<li style="text-align: left;">Stepping off of the subway into NYC for the first time, and the guy singing significant emotional song after significant emotional song as we figured out where to go, discovered I had left one of my suitcases at the airport several hours away, and got giddy with the fact that <i>we are here. </i></li>
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<li>Walking miles through the city carrying a positively <i>ridiculous </i>amount of luggage. We got lost amidst the hordes of self-aware, stylish people. We finally found the Subway station, got to Brooklyn, and walked the additional mile to the family's house where we stayed. It literally got to climbing-a-mountain level of exhaustion and demoralization. </li>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Sitting on the edge of a luggage carousel with my mom at 10pm, listening to "Someone Like You" and singing it to my lost suitcase. With the help of the fabulous singing black women, we found the dang thing and got back home to go to bed after one of the most amazing and glorious days I've ever had. Pastor Troy was a complete hero to drive us there and back.</li>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Brooklyn. Bethany's soul is Brooklyn. We would walk the half-mile to the Subway and back every day, and the walk was always beautiful and full of interesting cultural experiences. :)</li>
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<li>All of the honking. It was crazy and kind of awesome. In our city (Portland) drivers are usually mildly kind to pedestrians, but in NYC, everyone is horrible to each other. People pour across the crosswalks even when it's not their turn. Therefore the cars nose into the crosswalk, honking continuously as people trot across. It's kind of incredible that people don't get run over more consistently. </li>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Red fire escapes. I would like to have this apartment and just hang out on the fire escape and read books and eat breakfast and swing my legs and stuff.</li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Shoes. There was an magical store called Rainbow that we walked passed every day, and when I lost my flip flops/obtained horrific blisters from the Death March/was judged by passersby for my summery footwear (they were all wearing coats and hats and boots but holy cow, it was actually hot outside), I decided it was time to buy some appropriate shoes. Guys, New York has dirt-cheap shoes that will make your dreams come true. I found my ideal pink flats that I have been searching for for my entire life. Not only were they FIVE BUCKS, but they are literally the first shoes I have ever had that don't give me blisters. Comfiest, happiest shoes. By the end of the trip, they proudly told many stories, including miles and miles of walking and the run-in with the escalator (more on that later). Sadly, I left them under a bed in a Pennsylvania hotel, but I bought an extra pair to wear at home, so I still have those. :)</li>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Of course, taking photos. I was constantly lagging behind, photographing the city within an inch of its life.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vTnz4Xaa3teiH46Yq36mEgHYWJFlWb8A6Om4jexH_ArKX1Qt6hFj-aLvH8cuJgxxXX7T1yzld4vJKdUS4bNZ_94xllho2mLRERNFycFq5WgHpJyI6u8i0w_XD-Oo_wtBqtqG84AY2jLv/s1600/NYC+083.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vTnz4Xaa3teiH46Yq36mEgHYWJFlWb8A6Om4jexH_ArKX1Qt6hFj-aLvH8cuJgxxXX7T1yzld4vJKdUS4bNZ_94xllho2mLRERNFycFq5WgHpJyI6u8i0w_XD-Oo_wtBqtqG84AY2jLv/s640/NYC+083.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The random dressed up (or um...dressed-down--heard of the "Naked Cowboy? yikes) people everywhere. Spiderman holding up traffic, Tigger, Spongebob...</li>
</ul>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>The architecture. Holy cow.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Times Square. I loved it to death. We got to go at least four times, and it was always gloriously full of people and noise and color.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Broadway. Checked off another thing on my bucket list! We got to see <i>Phantom of the Opera</i>, which was absolutely incredible. The hurtling chandelier, the pure, gorgeous voice of the Phantom, the actual heroic-ness of Raoul that worked for me way more than it did in the movie... it was beautiful.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The NYPD. You know how they are <i>always </i>in the movies? It was kind of epic to see them in real life. :)</li>
</ul>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>The weather. It was absolutely gorgeous almost the entire time. Which was very, very handy especially for taking photos--it's not the most fun to have to stuff my camera down my coat. </li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Central Park. It was massive, and gorgeous, and smack-dab in the middle of the city, which is why it's so glorious. I recognized so many things from it--including the chase scene in <i>Kate & Leopold </i>and<i> </i>lots from <i>When in Rome </i>and <i>Enchanted. </i>I was literally prancing around like an idiot, going "WOAH THAT'S WHERE PRINCE EDWARD GOT RUN OVER!"</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Creeper-photographing. I kind of just wanted to go up to people (especially the in-love people) and ask to take their picture. BUT I'm a coward and since I was traveling with people, didn't want to embarrass them/lag behind even more than I already was. If I ever go back (which I really, really, really want to) I'm totally going to do that because, I don't know, New York City is meant for photographing people in love.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-95Fdj1b2BnWzTBAw-vmG4FQ6_TLWRLs6A5gOxpkZSWKHjqoW0F6iW94xkDBdaos-w36pd3AOQjlwt-fVL7MYUZsUJh0wVTwRUAQKVNUImBPzDzXjuMzxAhZoFMCGaD1LHif5doc8hCV/s1600/NYC+238.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-95Fdj1b2BnWzTBAw-vmG4FQ6_TLWRLs6A5gOxpkZSWKHjqoW0F6iW94xkDBdaos-w36pd3AOQjlwt-fVL7MYUZsUJh0wVTwRUAQKVNUImBPzDzXjuMzxAhZoFMCGaD1LHif5doc8hCV/s640/NYC+238.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>My Elmo juice boxes from my stupendously awesome sister, Bethany. ♥</li>
</ul>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX17yTRsP0nob5wF5scd1F98O2jFXztoeQJEVySA5ruBRV82zOmmZqhyphenhyphenfFx4GxpuO4Da5SimITeWdnYxIp81n-zRs6xpFQrrLs9CL28OcFVAFFR6nBklh6P6Yfdk97QC_pzpfUc-GQEGVU/s1600/NYC+249.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX17yTRsP0nob5wF5scd1F98O2jFXztoeQJEVySA5ruBRV82zOmmZqhyphenhyphenfFx4GxpuO4Da5SimITeWdnYxIp81n-zRs6xpFQrrLs9CL28OcFVAFFR6nBklh6P6Yfdk97QC_pzpfUc-GQEGVU/s640/NYC+249.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Full of weird and awesome things.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUIEqc0dFPZKS09T5DG1qlmSOeK01udrTlpRd4tvT4qY4xe7YB_DPW_vYpPScjN6WqokPd_pe8Iyg7tgqZBUPuaVw-QsCuOZm3tAeNJW-6hh_ViYWRrT68DI8hL5nhqX3flTN2zZiZhuDU/s1600/NYC+280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUIEqc0dFPZKS09T5DG1qlmSOeK01udrTlpRd4tvT4qY4xe7YB_DPW_vYpPScjN6WqokPd_pe8Iyg7tgqZBUPuaVw-QsCuOZm3tAeNJW-6hh_ViYWRrT68DI8hL5nhqX3flTN2zZiZhuDU/s640/NYC+280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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(somehow this is me and Bethany's souls)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFvV2cc0MMTxmPADRQp9KDZafQXA_x1MtR2FGHE2V6kDV64YJPA0qWo4hbgVqUeQjOFodd6OrYS9aSEhgY6E2aGoTI5z7b34LX6rEN4cfLKYP2jgnVdX9g7BuOvntLECAGMzqQIF6ox1z/s1600/NYC+282.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFvV2cc0MMTxmPADRQp9KDZafQXA_x1MtR2FGHE2V6kDV64YJPA0qWo4hbgVqUeQjOFodd6OrYS9aSEhgY6E2aGoTI5z7b34LX6rEN4cfLKYP2jgnVdX9g7BuOvntLECAGMzqQIF6ox1z/s640/NYC+282.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The happy helmet. Yes.</li>
</ul>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7ijxbRUQ2Bdj34SFmPXdNjEv4bDl8s2P7zkk8xNh7VCJ1QFBEK4tVU8lrdlTF0-IzlowuwwxMC6umrEs3UtSyT6UPOSr58jpy71hyphenhyphenG_2IPvRbjc9PhjVb2nO0CLJahKsDnwJQFzPDxjt/s1600/NYC+284.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7ijxbRUQ2Bdj34SFmPXdNjEv4bDl8s2P7zkk8xNh7VCJ1QFBEK4tVU8lrdlTF0-IzlowuwwxMC6umrEs3UtSyT6UPOSr58jpy71hyphenhyphenG_2IPvRbjc9PhjVb2nO0CLJahKsDnwJQFzPDxjt/s640/NYC+284.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkR7R3HRQZlXYXeCBvlblgkire-E8oEanjqDpd7WxwbfHMMFestCjW7TEHLvLKfbbhZHDsFYoT7jNVeOZrWKMwMXSKDgVVV-8YVL5RnvJW5BeLPGvfhvXtmLlTGqN2yUd9l8MNpbWdwGRX/s1600/NYC+286.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkR7R3HRQZlXYXeCBvlblgkire-E8oEanjqDpd7WxwbfHMMFestCjW7TEHLvLKfbbhZHDsFYoT7jNVeOZrWKMwMXSKDgVVV-8YVL5RnvJW5BeLPGvfhvXtmLlTGqN2yUd9l8MNpbWdwGRX/s640/NYC+286.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The frequent photo-bombing of people in "I ♥ NY" shirts. I didn't notice it at all until I looked through my photos later and found tons of them. (and yes, I DID buy that shirt cuz I'm cheesy and because I do ♥ NY.)</li>
</ul>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Subway/street dancers. Loved them all. Wanted to give them all my money.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Shopping on 5th Avenue! Dream of my life.</li>
</ul>
</div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The Diesel store. I need to go back with a man who can try on all their incredible men's jeans which are hanging, starched into shape (kind of awesome and kind of creepy).</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The store with the rainbow stairs and the brilliant bathroom.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">People. Hordes of them. I loved it.</li>
</ul>
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(again with the photo bombing!)</div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Map-consulting--often.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The entire Subway deal. How it was too hot down in the stations but too cold inside of of the Subway. The weird people and the awesome people and the little kids in school uniforms and the army cadet reading studiously and the mullet-dreadlocked guy with tattoos on his face and a sleepy dog.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Riding the most terrifying and amazing ride ever. We took the Subway to Coney Island super late at night, because Bethany had been on this rollercoaster before and was dying to force me to go on it with her. I was trying to figure out how it could be so scary since she promised me that there was no spinning and no going upside-down. Turns out it was wildly terrifying because every drop is WORSE than completely vertical. I closed my eyes, which helped my eyes not think I was about to die, but did nothing for my heart, soul, and stomach, which went into shock and hurtled around in my insides. It. was. amazing. Can't wait to do it again--and keep my eyes open this time. :)</li>
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<li style="text-align: left;">The pumpkins, signs of rest and peace and healing. Because no matter how confused we got on our way home every night (sometimes at 1am), we would always know we had found our haven as soon as we saw the pumpkins.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Getting to go to two churches in one day. We stayed with the pastor of a tiny church in Brooklyn, so we went to his church in the morning. Absolutely awesome, with people with Brooklyn accents and the love of Jesus bursting out of them. And then we went into the Manhattan area and went to one of the campuses for Redeemer Church (Tim Keller's church--much more on him in another post, swoon). He wasn't there, since he's not quite stalk-able enough to find out which campus he'll be at each Sunday. But it was life-changing and inspiring and gospel-seeping-out-everywhere all the same. </li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Central Park again in the evening. </li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The Brooklyn Bridge. Love love love love.</li>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>The trees. Gah.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">My gorgeous mama, who orchestrated the whole thing and whose skills of plotting and strategizing are an important counterpart to my... LET'S JUST THROW AWAY THE MAP AND GET LOST approach.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The Statue of Liberty. Yeah, kind of obsessed. People said she wasn't all that impressive in real life, but I thought she was magnificent.</li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: left;">The Escalator Incident at Ellis Island. My mom's long skirt got caught, which resulted in pushing the emergency off-switch and yanking and yanking until it got loose. The skirt was shredded and my hands were covered in horrific escalator grease. We had to borrow scissors from the gift shop and I crouched on the floor and trimmed her poor straggly gypsy-woman skirt into some semblance of appropriateness. We are classy.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Her.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Taking waif pictures of Bethany in her very favorite place--the graveyard.</li>
</ul>
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(again!)<br />
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Wall Street. We sat in the park and ate spicy food which dripped all over us and Bethany drank the most horrific smoothie I have ever seen. Good times.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The beautiful, tragic 9/11 memorial inside of Trinity Church right by where the Twin Towers fell.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The Kind of Sketchy Part of Town<i> </i>(aka where I always get really excited).</li>
</ul>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiFUzSiNWsn0wR0O5BNqV0DLxaeAIbCIA8aUeMdDsbq9a2iGaiduJgD_yPWuHIyn3Y2ll5rvYgSk6ATZqHwtJYecvJvjvU0FOXcCYjKNdxAt__NX_EX7-PEDcxYiHE7-xX2N2LchNQYu1l/s1600/NYC+840.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiFUzSiNWsn0wR0O5BNqV0DLxaeAIbCIA8aUeMdDsbq9a2iGaiduJgD_yPWuHIyn3Y2ll5rvYgSk6ATZqHwtJYecvJvjvU0FOXcCYjKNdxAt__NX_EX7-PEDcxYiHE7-xX2N2LchNQYu1l/s640/NYC+840.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhujuJDj_XmfNgsiVEswo1RzloWxP4NEdQLRei9XMMCktJZp3bO5Wzk2fZRiY_D_AcYlVCawPQQRxYNpkHGlTCnKIJPVc33RGksdB_yaOgorjTLX09eNaAzxqpS_7KbIAgQqGxyUMCpwNfe/s1600/NYC+842.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhujuJDj_XmfNgsiVEswo1RzloWxP4NEdQLRei9XMMCktJZp3bO5Wzk2fZRiY_D_AcYlVCawPQQRxYNpkHGlTCnKIJPVc33RGksdB_yaOgorjTLX09eNaAzxqpS_7KbIAgQqGxyUMCpwNfe/s640/NYC+842.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj50c2Ukp_fGs8A8yE8tmKYioPx5BmRMdEpurI8VmtlQMbfX-D9kxMcY-pwxcl6HF96KFicezd9bJGqcQEE47g3-XWVZCk3PKu6B6S2C-efbi5TUG9arEAigxSehCB5DY4hDWevD_Ei_xI7/s1600/NYC+844.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj50c2Ukp_fGs8A8yE8tmKYioPx5BmRMdEpurI8VmtlQMbfX-D9kxMcY-pwxcl6HF96KFicezd9bJGqcQEE47g3-XWVZCk3PKu6B6S2C-efbi5TUG9arEAigxSehCB5DY4hDWevD_Ei_xI7/s640/NYC+844.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Eating sushi in Little Italy. (yeah, it doesn't make sense). The first real raw fish I've eaten, since every time I've had sushi I've gotten away with the kind with the smoked salmon, because I'm a baby and more afraid of food poisoning than most anything else. I did NOT get food poisoning, much to my surprise.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-tTvRCyBL_n6GQL7Ws6OkDYKqwvOQN3fdrRdckcNZn5NbjzBSFQZMxzHMR_Dvbf29VyNHoqZV9bxxJuGt5s5AwucThoULTAPQA1p8kx8xAeUTjEPOc-po0-XtI7A_izVWK2SEg3ASwWJ/s1600/NYC+848.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-tTvRCyBL_n6GQL7Ws6OkDYKqwvOQN3fdrRdckcNZn5NbjzBSFQZMxzHMR_Dvbf29VyNHoqZV9bxxJuGt5s5AwucThoULTAPQA1p8kx8xAeUTjEPOc-po0-XtI7A_izVWK2SEg3ASwWJ/s640/NYC+848.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Lucky Luciano, our very Italian, very flamboyant, very affectionate waiter. He roped us into coming to his restaurant (we came AFTER we'd already eat sushi...he was really persuasive, okay?? I'm not good at standing up to Italians) and then gave us the most amazing food. </li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj33v9JzXfkRRiWo2nOZGZQX3lzizDElml47e4qNEwDEbRg9CI5a2Vvbu_pgP9qXA0mXYV-XH0cC-69lntvPS4-Kz-hozxqyWvrFXAqLF9yZeWXZqUPNQbpkotrcyNIFt-OGYXhMNO1sqyD/s1600/NYC+853.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj33v9JzXfkRRiWo2nOZGZQX3lzizDElml47e4qNEwDEbRg9CI5a2Vvbu_pgP9qXA0mXYV-XH0cC-69lntvPS4-Kz-hozxqyWvrFXAqLF9yZeWXZqUPNQbpkotrcyNIFt-OGYXhMNO1sqyD/s640/NYC+853.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">THIS PIZZA. We supposedly had "the best pizza in the city" in Times Square, but it couldn't even compare to this gloriousness in nitty-gritty Little Italy. I ate so much food that night, holy cow.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZyPX-DPD-nuCSnKryWJZPg2_XVBKjaHDW_5fyDoHG5jO_ZxdNsevQymsTLd6GiXs9CL3lJ4XdQrEKpOJrRUVqJxpp9V2Xz6gewSQ4oldt_gCYrptDi9pGshqExoaEpOEf1g2ysx0n_iF/s1600/NYC+852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZyPX-DPD-nuCSnKryWJZPg2_XVBKjaHDW_5fyDoHG5jO_ZxdNsevQymsTLd6GiXs9CL3lJ4XdQrEKpOJrRUVqJxpp9V2Xz6gewSQ4oldt_gCYrptDi9pGshqExoaEpOEf1g2ysx0n_iF/s640/NYC+852.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
Yeah, because I ate this too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUT3fsz1CtQCo2EworcUdyKbb5fiG66x4-MFhyCNvq-Re1v0mCKhZ2uwPzxuhh_PSLhIQKDO0Eop2ng-66BXCi333CgbUBHmD6qA50wYylPd-2ZfJcn8PNsfLAKQzx11KFNX8nxJcYKNW/s1600/NYC+855.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUT3fsz1CtQCo2EworcUdyKbb5fiG66x4-MFhyCNvq-Re1v0mCKhZ2uwPzxuhh_PSLhIQKDO0Eop2ng-66BXCi333CgbUBHmD6qA50wYylPd-2ZfJcn8PNsfLAKQzx11KFNX8nxJcYKNW/s640/NYC+855.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKDYItKm4ER0SlCpwDHgNFkn5_n7iIxVO3-xI10YAK6dftu-m52kBRWX-SP72AUxDnr-FlRU9aCPIUUzkG-8DTlKzWa12Fvfw-z5oDfpSsjJbPJkJbMzvtQtygVbNAA_YgUZeX7K2bEbQm/s1600/NYC+861.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKDYItKm4ER0SlCpwDHgNFkn5_n7iIxVO3-xI10YAK6dftu-m52kBRWX-SP72AUxDnr-FlRU9aCPIUUzkG-8DTlKzWa12Fvfw-z5oDfpSsjJbPJkJbMzvtQtygVbNAA_YgUZeX7K2bEbQm/s640/NYC+861.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2yQkpTreu1GBHGfPv-dG5dGZt857Cv5k-QOGWheJX4E-86_gI7gppOuiuEz2STsCecOPRLoH0uzpYjvr21E3pMUBaYuAgg2oEiyCy37NMVWnp8B0EEfvNfaI_V8g75cBzUMov6OqJWN5n/s1600/NYC+865.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2yQkpTreu1GBHGfPv-dG5dGZt857Cv5k-QOGWheJX4E-86_gI7gppOuiuEz2STsCecOPRLoH0uzpYjvr21E3pMUBaYuAgg2oEiyCy37NMVWnp8B0EEfvNfaI_V8g75cBzUMov6OqJWN5n/s640/NYC+865.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Strand Bookstore. The best.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXK292lAtLolDn-dE0sEJhsTautl_3yQz5uaECQbH6hpuih_xkv7-FP7z0XGBMO6dzdWs-m2yvvNk5NtR0F7rtvPlEMYrssNjdan17ap5ekL0X0QxXLoElxOV_8OGAmhlbiQ4Nr8gvR00m/s1600/NYC+866.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXK292lAtLolDn-dE0sEJhsTautl_3yQz5uaECQbH6hpuih_xkv7-FP7z0XGBMO6dzdWs-m2yvvNk5NtR0F7rtvPlEMYrssNjdan17ap5ekL0X0QxXLoElxOV_8OGAmhlbiQ4Nr8gvR00m/s640/NYC+866.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7VxbTXevIZjQQfAToWfxZA_gvbFBqiJpOX7lHWYxlgC0Zb46c_Jzgxst_No5qrFiUVfj2VGXom7UYAQdVd7rVjFGNVS9To2CEqazrnbA3cAccwanYWOV4hGp0EgdAUxMCwSSjyKhQUDB/s1600/NYC+868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7VxbTXevIZjQQfAToWfxZA_gvbFBqiJpOX7lHWYxlgC0Zb46c_Jzgxst_No5qrFiUVfj2VGXom7UYAQdVd7rVjFGNVS9To2CEqazrnbA3cAccwanYWOV4hGp0EgdAUxMCwSSjyKhQUDB/s640/NYC+868.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9rSj9mwWP8pvXnKx0IEt8z8SQBG-L9hMzKNmXtO_sHNq45RA_fz36tFlRHGE0HYERx4wsJwn-cKjhEy3M_ep4eolIaGiR9l3bamKre4nn8hXEX1o3kLAwOiU8i-iMb-XvbUAZLh_cv4wO/s1600/NYC+869.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9rSj9mwWP8pvXnKx0IEt8z8SQBG-L9hMzKNmXtO_sHNq45RA_fz36tFlRHGE0HYERx4wsJwn-cKjhEy3M_ep4eolIaGiR9l3bamKre4nn8hXEX1o3kLAwOiU8i-iMb-XvbUAZLh_cv4wO/s640/NYC+869.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICiR52DdTAVKBYuZEmp7cszyf8_0MZ7sw7nqWmQToD5NiK59iDi5q9v62naN9dr3nDgjLl__urujjl1JiTREWyeXK11Q5EY0tnYjgLF7fCgI-divAPCqX_e9PWKuqKURkTL69WveCJftA/s1600/NYC+870.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICiR52DdTAVKBYuZEmp7cszyf8_0MZ7sw7nqWmQToD5NiK59iDi5q9v62naN9dr3nDgjLl__urujjl1JiTREWyeXK11Q5EY0tnYjgLF7fCgI-divAPCqX_e9PWKuqKURkTL69WveCJftA/s640/NYC+870.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">(I didn't notice this until I went through my photos...)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPhCcvVny-KoDKO5-_hr-H6yJ1T2g_5pLVolZaIN-vnlJceVEC0PLIp2Nshyphenhyphen46xSAm8fIJz9kJBtNYshn1hMDr6vC6ISoKCF4H7i6eoRkJ6l6Hc42jShjYtsh53VatbAfBQ0RD5oLFrK2A/s1600/NYC+872.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPhCcvVny-KoDKO5-_hr-H6yJ1T2g_5pLVolZaIN-vnlJceVEC0PLIp2Nshyphenhyphen46xSAm8fIJz9kJBtNYshn1hMDr6vC6ISoKCF4H7i6eoRkJ6l6Hc42jShjYtsh53VatbAfBQ0RD5oLFrK2A/s640/NYC+872.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebI_ob2dsBIW_j2t5g1HEJ_lGnZ4HAsAc_ygBI0r7UtK1AR2sg1dv2MXjVPxuIY7bCcazxj_eQN5TeQy3An5hgGEonMSeC4aUDwHJzlw0YkWv2NiQlmg5Vx-zyxCSXGBcSyOodhE9KFwP/s1600/NYC+873.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebI_ob2dsBIW_j2t5g1HEJ_lGnZ4HAsAc_ygBI0r7UtK1AR2sg1dv2MXjVPxuIY7bCcazxj_eQN5TeQy3An5hgGEonMSeC4aUDwHJzlw0YkWv2NiQlmg5Vx-zyxCSXGBcSyOodhE9KFwP/s640/NYC+873.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6c3oQccK1pxEBRDdyuii23KeR1GPqoiiOb7dIEJTgaFZaSqnZxfmRS67qmVmP9GRqvQes3WSipwjmI-I4WJPZo87fDnfLyQM-NlMuBlzTdLEJ5Z7l3pYj4I8w2r8xVtc6J7ZjuH88TnFX/s1600/NYC+874.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6c3oQccK1pxEBRDdyuii23KeR1GPqoiiOb7dIEJTgaFZaSqnZxfmRS67qmVmP9GRqvQes3WSipwjmI-I4WJPZo87fDnfLyQM-NlMuBlzTdLEJ5Z7l3pYj4I8w2r8xVtc6J7ZjuH88TnFX/s640/NYC+874.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>The massiveness of everything--Macy's, the world's largest department store. Nine floors, twelve restaurants. <i>An entire floor for shoes. </i>And Toys 'R Us, which had a ferris wheel inside of it. A FERRIS WHEEL.</li>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Grand Central Station. I want to go here every day and sit and drink coffee and take pictures and watch everyone run around.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Bethany's message that she wrote on one of the iPads at the Apple Store in the station...</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Gelato. We didn't need food (weren't even hungry) but again... the Italians. We sampled every single thing and it was absolutely amazing.</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Buying Taylor Swift's new album in Times Square. Incidentally she had actually been in Times Square that morning, which was freaky.</li>
</ul>
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(this is how Bethany felt sometimes in Times Square with all the people and noise and colors. she's more into the serenity and the Jews that are to be found in Brooklyn)</div>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Randomly running across the Les Miserables plaque... thing...</li>
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There was much rejoicing.</div>
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Basically, it was incredible. It was every bit as amazing as I expected, with a whole heaping load of totally-epic and wildly-magical that I hadn't bargained on. I'm hopelessly in love with the place and hope, <i>somehow </i>to go back. At least once, or maybe twice. Or maybe live there for awhile. Or forever.</div>
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I was so, so blessed to be able to go, and to be able to come back. And to have this epic God who gets a kick out of making these glorious things happen. </div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-19862193098167872742013-01-02T22:38:00.002-08:002013-01-02T22:42:06.927-08:00brand-new year.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It's a brand-new year. Which means it's been a year since I celebrated the dawn of 2012 and planned out my life and wrote down my lists and got ready to have <i>the best year ever. </i><br />
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There's so much I could say about last year. It was incredible, it was tough, it was beautiful, it was the best year of my life. Everything about everything changed. Some of it was really really hard, and some of it was really really beautiful, and most of it was really really hard <i>and </i>really really beautiful.<br />
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I started out 2012 with the intention of <i>making it awesome. </i>It wasn't a smidgeon like I had planned, and was a hundred times more beautiful and amazing than I'd ever dreamed. I didn't make it awesome at all. Jesus, wildly in control of my life, made it absolutely amazing.<br />
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I know that 2013 is going to be incredible. Even if everything changes again, and stuff is hard and it hurts and nothing goes like I'd thought it would. I'm not writing my own story. Which makes the start of this year way scarier and way more exciting.<br />
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I'm bursting at the seams to tell you all about the crazy amazing stuff God's been doing in my life. </div>
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But for now--<i><span style="font-size: large;">happy, happy new year.</span> </i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">photo taken by <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">Peter</a> on the glorious and brutal hike up Mt. St. Helens this year.</span></i></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-18060449645805131632012-10-13T20:26:00.000-07:002012-10-13T20:26:25.922-07:00we are the free and His is the glory.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It's fall now. It really is, and it's stunning, and I love it. I've actually let go of summer with considerably less kicking and screaming this year. But I couldn't put it away until I'd revisited it all.</div>
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Summer. I kind of knew it was going to be a big, splashy, life-changing affair. Just had that feeling. <span style="text-align: center;">But it was way bigger, way splashier, way more life-changing than I'd planned on. </span></div>
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I feel like last summer wasn't that long ago, but every. single. thing has changed. Things fell apart, things came together, and mostly, Jesus, who has always been a <i>part </i>of my life, sweepingly, incredibly, indescribably became all that really matters.</div>
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Everything that a tough and beautiful spring led to just exploded this summer. Life has a way of getting crazy and amazing when Jesus is all<i> </i>over the place. I know I can't actually describe it--the best way to show you what I mean would be to jump up and down and probably cry.<br />
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<a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/06/some-days-stay-gold-forever.html" style="text-align: center;">This</a> <span style="text-align: center;">started it all, with all the promisingly glorious Jesus-ness. There are awesome pieces of life that are good and enjoyable, the end, but then there's seasons where<i> </i>everything changes so hugely, so beautifully, so mind-blowingly, that it can't ever, ever be the same. This was that summer.</span><br />
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This summer there were lots of fires with deep conversations and smoked-out clothes. There was conviction and more learning and thinking than I've ever done. There were moleskines, bought and given and gotten and written in.</div>
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This summer there was painfully scrumptious evening light and and perfect, violently hot days.<br />
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This summer there was a swirly rainbow lollipop and red velvet cake. And cold cereal and pudding and tacos, continuously.</div>
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This summer there was going-out-to-coffee with Jesus-lovers repeatedly and vigorously. There is nothing better, I kid you not.</div>
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This summer there was for-reals, hard-core, Jesus-soaked community. I've <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2012/06/some-days-stay-gold-forever.html">said before</a> that community is the best-thing-ever, but I had no idea how much more amazing it could get.</div>
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This summer I gave in to an affinity for Mumford & Sons and even Bob Dylan, after a long fight against it. </div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">This summer I ate pie with my hands.</span></div>
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This summer I turned nineteen. Crazy how everything changed in just one year.</div>
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This summer I got to photograph lives joining, new lives growing, and brand-spanking-new, crying, worked-for life.</div>
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This summer I got to watch my rascally second brother become a daddy. First time I've taken pictures while steadily crying.<br />
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This summer I got to see my sister give birth to her third beautiful baby girl.</div>
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This summer the nieces & nephews were rampant--giggling and growing scarily fast.</div>
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This summer I met a fabulous little boy named Peter Hill. ♥</div>
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This summer our basically-family moved away from next-door, ending the raucous saga of working together and driving home together and hanging out whenever we wanted to walk up the hill to their house.</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">This summer there were basically-brothers who took charge and saved China and got to be straight-up men.</span></div>
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This summer we climbed a mountain under a full moon and watched the sun rise.</div>
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This summer I lost some of my bestest people to Bend, but Bend is beautiful and they're there being awesome and changing the world.</div>
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This summer I faced one of my worst fears--getting my wisdom teeth out. Took a whole bottle of ibuprofen and watched movies and read some of the best books of all time.</div>
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This summer I faced another one of my worst fears--riding a greyhound bus (scarred by creepers as a six-year-old, okay?) Whispered about deep stuff with my sister, reveled in C.S. Lewis' genius, and watched an old guy in a train engineer hat roll cigarettes.</div>
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This summer me and my mom talked about Jesus in the car over and over. I love her.</div>
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This summer I almost died repeatedly with beholding the rascally brother's firstborn son as he got chubbier and even more ridiculously cute.<br />
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This summer I rode in convertible for the first time ever. I'll never forget you, tiny beautiful car-that-Sam-now-sold-cuz-he's-going-to-change-the-world-and-needs-a-bigger-car-to-do-it.</div>
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This summer I got to know inspiring people better and met new amazing people. I love my people so, so much. It's out of hand.</div>
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This summer some glorious books changed my world. I read them ferociously and discussed the heck out of them with amazing people. </div>
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This summer I had the best conversations I've ever had with the guys who I've had a zillion awesome conversations with. My brothers are awesome, you guys. Increasingly so.</div>
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This summer was beautiful and scary and full of changes. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sUrr4wf0Kc">The end of a decade and the start of an age</a>. Full of learning to <i>let go, </i>to trust God, to love like Jesus loved.</div>
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This summer no one was satisfied with coasting, everyone rose up and owned it. Fears were faced, dragons were fought, Jesus' love exploded everywhere. Everyone in my life--you're amazing.<br />
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This summer was wildly, epically, the best summer ever.</div>
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Jesus is the best thing that ever happened, the end.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we are forgiven, singing redemptions's song,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">there's a fire that burns inside,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">a fire that burns inside/nothing can stop us,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we'll be running through the night,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">with a fire that burns inside/a fire that burns inside.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we are the free, the freedom generation,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">singing of mercy,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">You are the one who set us all in motion,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Yours is the glory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">there's a fire in our hearts and it burns for you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">it's never gonna fade away,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we are the free and Yours is the glory. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we are the risen, living alive in you,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">and our passion will not die,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">no our passion will not die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">nothing can stop us,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we'll be running through the night,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">and our passion will not die,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">our passion will not die.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">up from the grave You rose again,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">up from the grave he rose and we will</span></div>
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rise up, rise up,</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">into the world that you so love,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">into the world we go and we will</span></div>
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rise up,</div>
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rise up.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">we are the free and </span></div>
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Yours is the glory.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdCwxnZhk6Q">"we are the free"</a>]</span></div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-11233222983466520222012-09-26T04:00:00.000-07:002012-09-26T04:00:18.667-07:00Colin + Sara<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I got to second-shoot another wedding... in July (yes I fail at life, but hey, my summer's been pretty wild). This time it was for a couple that I've known for basically forever, which made it much more exciting/terrifying.<br />
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I was assisting Peter again--be sure and check out <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/colin-and-sara-hitched">his stunning photos</a>!<br />
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Sara is beautiful, and her wedding was amazing to just be able to attend, let alone photograph. It was splendidly magazine-worthy.<br />
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The most visibly excited groom I've ever witnessed. ;) He was literally jumping up and down at the end of the aisle waiting for her.</div>
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This is her little brother, who invariably winks whenever he has an encounter with a camera.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://petermahar.smugmug.com/Flowers/Light-Test/i-WkQ7RDp/0/L/colin-Sara0720127128-L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="http://petermahar.smugmug.com/Flowers/Light-Test/i-WkQ7RDp/0/L/colin-Sara0720127128-L.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">snitched <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">Peter's</a> photo</td></tr>
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The night ended with floating lanterns. FLOATING LANTERNS. I've been waiting my whole life for floating lanterns. And it was just like <a href="http://www.susannahhope.com/2011/03/totally-in-love-with-tangled-still.html">Tangled</a>--we watched them go up until they tried to blend in with the stars. Not only the lanterns, but a spontaneous singing all together of the Doxology. It was too. much. Such an amazing day & amazing couple. </div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-84673251890639375022012-08-19T20:09:00.003-07:002012-08-19T20:09:44.260-07:00lately.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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summer? it's been stupendous. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSIWejbpKjPcwffRWBMz8Sa73RoO573FwxxdZYdXRYe7QGX45uQfQbUw7bsuHdT2CYkbmuv8WLgAQfwZ4qCpI0OVTIFSfmOgu9vtTeuDcofYUlYaouab2K6S2CWqKLIENJ8Y4HIWU_-crX/s1600/DSC_0018+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSIWejbpKjPcwffRWBMz8Sa73RoO573FwxxdZYdXRYe7QGX45uQfQbUw7bsuHdT2CYkbmuv8WLgAQfwZ4qCpI0OVTIFSfmOgu9vtTeuDcofYUlYaouab2K6S2CWqKLIENJ8Y4HIWU_-crX/s640/DSC_0018+(1).jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">checked off a <a href="http://www.fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/p/bucket-list.html">bucket list</a> item! (it's not permanent.) ;)</td></tr>
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my mom and I went off to Bend to visit my moved-away Hadley & Kerilynn.</div>
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their house is scrumptious and Bend is glorious. hot and flat and dry with mountains on the edges. beautiful.</div>
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it's been good, is still good, and there's plenty more left. </div>
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Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-64373314893624468112012-07-29T00:01:00.001-07:002012-07-29T00:01:27.477-07:00weddingness.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So I officially got to take pictures at wedding for the first time. (!!!)</div>
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I second-shot for <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">Peter</a>, who was one of the photographers for <a href="http://miwaza.com/benandrebekah/">my brother's wedding</a>, and did the face study which I <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2012/03/face-study.html">posted about awhile ago</a>. It was an awesome opportunity, since Peter is the best wedding photographer I know. Not only did I get the experience of actually taking photos of a wedding (without the pressure of being responsible!), I also got to just see Peter in action, which was super inspiring.</div>
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It was a humid, exciting, and rainy day. :) </div>
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And it all ended with red velvet cake. Amen.</div>
</div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-80145490338169560702012-07-12T23:14:00.000-07:002012-07-13T11:11:01.494-07:00girls.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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just photos from our girls' beach trip last weekend.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Katie: "it's the cross where Jesus died!"</i></td></tr>
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<br /></div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-20564378611425782192012-06-22T05:00:00.000-07:002012-06-22T05:00:08.267-07:00some days stay gold forever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It happened, it rocked, it's over. It was the best one of all time.</div>
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This was my eighteenth <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2011/06/crazy-mad-wonderful-week.html">church family camp.</a> </div>
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There've been years where I stay on the teeter-totter as much as possible, years where I destroy myself playing tag every single day, years where I run around being a maniac and eating red vines and avoiding banana slugs, and years that are rough and all over the place. This year was the year of taking photos and loud singing and clamorous late-night talks and inane 2am basketball games and learning and appreciating and getting to know people a lot better.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWNPOtNWPx_WaZViiwPFVCAiUbmlLjYJvH5vVV2zlJwovjtfrtt1GwUNOnLMqFo43iXgLoarxOUiZAhHWNxTbb-lsCMpvF-_jzPKt99ty39HMfD8Idrwjfpwhyc_JiyFNgvrxVbTV8sX5j/s1600/DSC_0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWNPOtNWPx_WaZViiwPFVCAiUbmlLjYJvH5vVV2zlJwovjtfrtt1GwUNOnLMqFo43iXgLoarxOUiZAhHWNxTbb-lsCMpvF-_jzPKt99ty39HMfD8Idrwjfpwhyc_JiyFNgvrxVbTV8sX5j/s640/DSC_0006.jpg" width="640" /></a> </div>
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I have it so good--with this crazy, amazing church family, and sometimes I don't remember that. </div>
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This year it was literally impossible to forget. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2u7GZhd6vWWGEFx205J_QOTKIO6rW7bo9BWtn0PUwTknTh7Z-5s4IZjMzzX-VmzPi4hQ2tD9KD3qYJC9HzZCk8kOmZUOH6OAJdCqpoIXk2W0poiIbfG1NDhpa1vX8P8WXpM96hf8G8RmO/s1600/DSC_0087.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2u7GZhd6vWWGEFx205J_QOTKIO6rW7bo9BWtn0PUwTknTh7Z-5s4IZjMzzX-VmzPi4hQ2tD9KD3qYJC9HzZCk8kOmZUOH6OAJdCqpoIXk2W0poiIbfG1NDhpa1vX8P8WXpM96hf8G8RmO/s640/DSC_0087.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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There are a lot of awesome people in the world, and God put a bunch of them in my life. Community is one of the best. things. ever. And family camp is like, community on steroids.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDgYapqfCZmbidB4DuZv1Odt39DOB5IL5AOpOfKOe_RFhFdPel24DcqqmFeHMy8u5PuDI1seiTIrBKHGAVrDVXoblzFb72JZmWEX_58nz9I3igwln5DDA7QS5N9G-VodVT2c087HMq9qj9/s1600/DSC_0117.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDgYapqfCZmbidB4DuZv1Odt39DOB5IL5AOpOfKOe_RFhFdPel24DcqqmFeHMy8u5PuDI1seiTIrBKHGAVrDVXoblzFb72JZmWEX_58nz9I3igwln5DDA7QS5N9G-VodVT2c087HMq9qj9/s640/DSC_0117.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Everything that I'd prayed the week would be-- awesome and full of craziness (which it always is) but also encouraging and inspiring and sharpening--it was </span><i style="background-color: white;">all that. </i></div>
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This year, Jesus took us by storm.</div>
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There was sunlight all over the place, late night talks about deep stuff and weird stuff and real stuff, and lots of campfire-smoked clothes and sandy feet.</div>
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I took photos, kind of continuously.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84GjamsCwXDSf-OJOThvkq9n3tGb3ZYsIp9T9y-r34jRtu401w_UZGJm7XXa-k9iQmKdKIy-H_J1B2H2mgZZXhKfcDjG_erNHU4amWRnrVqz1gN4g5RkbhYJZVKFC1nYmGuDBCDjdAjHb/s1600/DSC_0401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi84GjamsCwXDSf-OJOThvkq9n3tGb3ZYsIp9T9y-r34jRtu401w_UZGJm7XXa-k9iQmKdKIy-H_J1B2H2mgZZXhKfcDjG_erNHU4amWRnrVqz1gN4g5RkbhYJZVKFC1nYmGuDBCDjdAjHb/s640/DSC_0401.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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And got lots of advice & inspiration from <a href="http://miwaza.com/">Miwaza</a> and <a href="http://www.petermahar.com/">Peter</a>. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">yes, this is a gratuitous picture of Ben's tricep.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pre-dance pushup contest. ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">we danced to <i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGXD61SapUM">Chasing the Sun</a> </i>which was kind-of-really amazing.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ben looked up a video montage of Sean Bean's thirty death scenes because he's helpful like that.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bethany loves to have her picture taken. ;)</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white;">The speakers this year were especially awesome."FIGHT DRAGONS" was all over the place. Thank you, Pastor Sumpter, for a whole lot of convicting, inspiring, and shivers-inducing words, and thank you, </span><i style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwsSvU2oNrg">Long Live</a>, </i><span style="background-color: white;">for being even more applicable than ever. :)</span></div>
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<div style="line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">"Fight dragons.</span></div>
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Kill 'em.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Play with 'em</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Tame 'em.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Take on sin, stare it down; chase it.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And if you die fighting a dragon, good for you...</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Jesus did too.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And you know God will raise you back up.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">You have endless life in Him.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">What's the worst thing that's gonna happen?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">You'll die.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">It's gonna happen to us anyways.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">You have nothing to be afraid of.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">You belong to Jesus and you're a child of God,</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And God has promised to raise you up on the last day.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">You are invincible.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Fight dragons.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><b>Confess your sin, fearlessly</b>"</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 21px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">- Toby Sumpter</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">white pants. yess.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCyVhv_kLmYoJIy_5Vi_gATNElNgEiIEobWaWKbOpwKjfs1idtkZ0kUDZzoYWeG86JC38Fwwx4tFnHRDuR1ZXVnexiT0dE5CfHX6fFa3R6ziaq_dw_9zbHTx8iiaes4hG_9eFX4JRpSvNR/s1600/DSC_0372.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCyVhv_kLmYoJIy_5Vi_gATNElNgEiIEobWaWKbOpwKjfs1idtkZ0kUDZzoYWeG86JC38Fwwx4tFnHRDuR1ZXVnexiT0dE5CfHX6fFa3R6ziaq_dw_9zbHTx8iiaes4hG_9eFX4JRpSvNR/s640/DSC_0372.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is <a href="http://wilsonftw.blogspot.com/">Daniel</a>, who slept on the floor amidst end-of-camp slideshow madness.</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white;">This week in June is always a life-changer & perspective-shifter, and this year was no different. </span>There's the high you get, and there is the letdown after--but despite the depressing fact that it's over, really, <i>I'm excited about everything.</i></div>
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I love these people, I love this life, I love this Jesus who is the source and reason and purpose of everything.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i>"We're standing in a light that won't fade,<br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Tomorrow's coming but this won't change,<br style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Cause some days stay gold forever."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>-</i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8_V78wl-FA">Gold Forever</a>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">The Wanted</span></div>
<span id="goog_673489820"></span><span id="goog_673489821"></span></div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-35047009883787831972012-06-08T23:02:00.002-07:002012-06-08T23:02:55.122-07:00new lens.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9sWLB_tccU38rA_HSH-cMlneU-ezU9NRDhsYqENBEZGC9c1kOEyaxUxUiElOHuILGxisD8reTDiVxQr-eaD1heXmEfApQ0E2GsaeivJlrOHO9eSEQ5UGuxfgj15zDB6v7Eff5N2HVQAs/s1600/DSC_0959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy9sWLB_tccU38rA_HSH-cMlneU-ezU9NRDhsYqENBEZGC9c1kOEyaxUxUiElOHuILGxisD8reTDiVxQr-eaD1heXmEfApQ0E2GsaeivJlrOHO9eSEQ5UGuxfgj15zDB6v7Eff5N2HVQAs/s640/DSC_0959.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It was getting to be about that time, so, I bought this beautiful <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GCVA0U/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER">lens.</a> A WHOLE NEW WORLD, PEOPLE. I have been waiting for this for my whole life. Bethany's beautiful friend Rachel (all the way from Alaska) is visiting, and they made good guinea pigs.<br />
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Bokeh is my socially awkward passion--so my lens kind of makes me ridiculously happy.<br />
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Me: OHH DA BOKEH<br />
Bethany: I don't understand why this excites you so much.<br />
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Also, <a href="http://miwaza.com/">Miwaza</a> has been here (from Japan!), which is awesome, inspiring, encouraging, and all other things fantastic. We nerd out about photography and she teaches me lots of cool things and she's amazing.<br />
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We're off to <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2011/06/crazy-mad-wonderful-week.html">Family Camp</a> this next week. YES. ♥</div>
</div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-77951482635648144342012-06-01T23:46:00.002-07:002012-06-01T23:46:38.111-07:00summerness.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Summer officially started on May 4th (at midnight)... first there was <a href="http://www.fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2012/05/avengers.html">The Movie</a>, and then we had two weeks of <i>hot </i>weather. The summery things started early--first tan, first meal on the porch, first soft-serve ice cream cone, plus first-time-ever mowing the lawn, first-time-ever driving, first-time-ever playing touch football with out-of-hand brothers, etc.<br />
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It's been a weird year, already, and this summer is going to bring even more ending-of-an-age kind of things.<br />
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Our neighbors and basically-family-for-nearly-forever just sold their house and will be moving in July. (thankfully to only about an hour away). My Hadley and Kerilynn are moving in a couple weeks, about four hours away. I alternate between "UM THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY AT ALL" and "this is doable and I can handle it and we'll still be able to see each other pretty often" and (most often) my mind just kind of skips over the fact that they are actually going to be <i>gone, </i>for the sake of sanity and functionality. Oogh.<br />
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Change. I've never been much a fan of it when it includes things coming to an end. Change is good, but it hurts. As Hadley said during a late-night chat, "Love God completely, or go out of your mind."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVYtLuSndVFx5zDDmwQWIFYoOCXHz3nInMPR4FXADYmLr6rUsWzV1kRu7azmmdvO28zZ0jEv9BhNd5MmdmV0TD83u2_aYGicYC0ZYY-smIBc8ooA231m_EWCxY0u1rr-c0JLGndZ_lo30D/s1600/DSC_0369.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVYtLuSndVFx5zDDmwQWIFYoOCXHz3nInMPR4FXADYmLr6rUsWzV1kRu7azmmdvO28zZ0jEv9BhNd5MmdmV0TD83u2_aYGicYC0ZYY-smIBc8ooA231m_EWCxY0u1rr-c0JLGndZ_lo30D/s640/DSC_0369.jpg" width="640" /></a>It's going to be a weird summer. But I'm bound and determined to make it a good one. You know when things are crazy and complicated, but at the same time, everything is <i>good </i>in a sturdy reliable way? That's the way it's been, and that's the way I hope it's gonna stay.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTme16yd1TmkP64052xkvQ1vurKeN5KO-cBOWwN0eSaL9mxsI4O9IzAbXu70UOQFiNewP0Sp9Nb7RrCPK3bq3ujrETG3ooL_Y5towyXaIOB5xwoPfOtwuRruFpcKNI0XBOtLdC2XP_o-Vd/s1600/DSC_0351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTme16yd1TmkP64052xkvQ1vurKeN5KO-cBOWwN0eSaL9mxsI4O9IzAbXu70UOQFiNewP0Sp9Nb7RrCPK3bq3ujrETG3ooL_Y5towyXaIOB5xwoPfOtwuRruFpcKNI0XBOtLdC2XP_o-Vd/s640/DSC_0351.jpg" width="640" /></a>There have been a lot of times where I'm just kind of skidding through life, spazzing about some things, falling apart about other things, not exactly <i>grounded </i>and growing and learning and being stretched. But for reals, God has a way of changing everything and turning things upside down, and then making you happy to be upside-down. And then everything is so much more <i>real, </i>and I want to sieze everything and make the most of it all, and go out to coffee and hyperventilate about Jesus, and do pushups at random, and underline books ferociously, and snag videos of most everything, and make plans and goals about everything.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Xr4NlA5rhQ4zu5RXPToWXbI5bnNbDl2YaPC-A7rNBIZTdA_4YnIYyHbPxrkz0zbmTR2GIcFeJamjHYfI25d-8Srfx7pDqOq_aWrpJ4QRsMpPH0_4IRuHW5nDGTyJuIXn8vHabampNZCO/s1600/DSC_0685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Xr4NlA5rhQ4zu5RXPToWXbI5bnNbDl2YaPC-A7rNBIZTdA_4YnIYyHbPxrkz0zbmTR2GIcFeJamjHYfI25d-8Srfx7pDqOq_aWrpJ4QRsMpPH0_4IRuHW5nDGTyJuIXn8vHabampNZCO/s640/DSC_0685.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>we had a pretty-much-all-the-kids-and-all-their-families picnic for mother's day.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>he looks like he's posing nobly. hah, no. he was eating a sandwich and spacing out.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>lol.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Joseph plays football spicily.</i></td></tr>
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I'm hopelessly futuristic, and keep thinking about how I want to remember this piece of my life--this piece of life where I really <i>discover </i>God, where friendships get so deep, where my Bible is attacked with blue and green highlighter. <i>I love this life, </i>with all it's complications. I hear "live in the moment" all the time, but I've never really <i>gotten </i>it, personally. What I want to do is <i>throttle the moment as I live intentionally with the future in mind. </i></div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3851876291586797465.post-40615549941011082682012-05-22T22:06:00.000-07:002012-05-22T22:06:56.166-07:00salt in our blood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We had our first beach trip of the year. (I was pretty much withering after not having had a dose <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2011/10/last-one.html">since October)</a>. We were gone for an entire week--no computer, no internet, just consistent sunshine and tans and amazing food.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcMiLwgE51JqoatjS8q6t3kMhhfS8_RsIs1EcHgdWJwCvg8Sx92upmnnJSZwqD3mgoI19BEAEZrIkLJ-oinfFkYNxHTNzTTOTJGZPWnRVi1cJDj66Y2brVwQ_q9hpCibOpGJyKn1x7ahpQ/s1600/DSC_0016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcMiLwgE51JqoatjS8q6t3kMhhfS8_RsIs1EcHgdWJwCvg8Sx92upmnnJSZwqD3mgoI19BEAEZrIkLJ-oinfFkYNxHTNzTTOTJGZPWnRVi1cJDj66Y2brVwQ_q9hpCibOpGJyKn1x7ahpQ/s640/DSC_0016.jpg" width="640" /></a>I finished seven books. BLISS.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage</i></span></span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, </i></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We are tied to the ocean. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>And when we go back to the sea—whether it is to sail or to watch it—we are going back</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> from whence we came."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>-John F. Kennedy</i></span></span></div>
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We went to the same weird, cute little house that <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2011/05/week-beforeeverything-else.html">we went to almost exactly a year ago</a>. I had memories of reading school books typing up the rough draft of <a href="http://fashionandmodesty.blogspot.com/2011/05/our-confidence.html">my graduation speech</a>.<br />
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I wish I hadn't remembered how awesome pudding was. The addiction got really out of hand.<br />
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Me, my sunburn, and my pudding.<br />
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I've been trying to read Augustine's <i>Confessions </i>for a super long time, mostly as a deep-book-that-I-actually-got-through-and-therefore-feel-empowered, but then I finally started reading it and BAM--it's amazing! It's glorious how something from so, so long ago is so eerily relevant and applicable.<br />
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This is my elephant rock. ♥<br />
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Of course there was a daisy laying on the beach. (?)</div>
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Major creeper-fish. I guess it was dead, but one can't be sure.</div>
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And then I came home to sun and green and my computer and my cork board and everyday life, which is tougher than reading for hours, but is also very, very good. </div>Susannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03506813451259448763noreply@blogger.com32